We all know Waldo: the hipster looking guy with the red stripes, circle glasses, and suspenders who was always hiding from us on the pages of picture books. You may have even dressed up as him for Halloween one year (clever!). Where’s Waldo picture books were very popular in the 90’s to stimulate children’s minds as they looked to find this mysterious red herring.

Well, as we grew up we may no longer be looking for Wally on the pages of these illustrated novels, but instead in real life. So thanks a lot, Martin Handford (aka the creator of Where's Waldo), for putting into our heads at a young age that we, as women, need to find a man! Newsflash, we don't (promise I’m not a feminist). So girls, if you are Where’s Waldo-ing your future boyfriend, here is a little insight on why you shouldn't and what you should be doing instead.

Take it from someone (me!) who gave up on dating and relationships at age 18. Dramatic, I know, but it actually turned out to be the best thing I could have ever done. Seeing as I had endured enough with the male kind, I decided to just be single for the rest of my life (or so I thought). Giving up on relationships turned me onto focusing on me, me, ME! And guess what? In the craziest turn of events after a year of learning to love myself, setting my goals, working relentlessly to achieve them, realizing my worth, and in turn finding myself, I ended up meeting the love of my life! Announcement: I am not saying give up on relationships to find one! But if I could go back to the girl that I was five years ago and give her some advice, it would be this, and that is why I am writing this article. As I see so many women desperately searching for their soul mates, it is my suggestion to STOP and instead work on who and where you want to be in your life when he finds you!

1. Love yourself first!

First and foremost, you have to love yourself! Haven’t you ever heard that saying? Well, it's true (your mom wasn't lying). Loving yourself is crucial before being with anyone else. Why? You don't want someone else to be your only source of happiness, or make you feel like they are the only ones who love you (Yikes!). You need to love you, to know who you really are and what you deserve, before sharing your life with another person. Have a good foundation with yourself, so that you know your worth, and no matter what hold onto it! Focus on you first, and the rest will fall into place. Don't worry about where Waldo is, I’m sure he has a GPS (okay, bad joke).

2. Set Goals!

You are the only person who is going to get yourself ahead in life. Even if you did have a boyfriend at this point, he isn’t going to go to school for you (sorry gals!). You want to choose the kind of life that you want for yourself, before someone else comes into it. Find out what it is that you love to do, what your interests are, and the things you are passionate about. Figure out a way to turn that into a career. Confucius once said “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” Set yourself up to be on the path to attain whatever it is in life that you want. It could be getting a psychology degree from a top university so that you can become a therapist and help others navigate themselves through life, or getting your cosmetology license so you can make your living making others feel beautiful. Whatever it is, find it, and figure out how to make your dreams into a reality. Finally, work relentlessly until you have the life that you want, it is here that Waldo will appear (without even using a magnifying glass!).

3. Do you!

Ladies, you are most attractive to guys when you are doing you (not obsessing over finding a boyfriend!). When you are killing it on your own, unfazed by the fact that you are single, is when you come off as a catch. Good guys like to see girls have things going on for them, and side note: if a guy views that as you being too busy for him, well that's your first red flag (next!). More importantly, do it for you. Build your life up to what you want it to be, instead of trolling Tinder in hopes of finding your Prince Charming (Disney princesses didn't have dating apps). When you are working hard to achieve your goals, happy and confident with yourself and putting happiness and positivity out into the world in return, is when all good things (not only concerning men) will come your way. Think about it, would you rather go for the guy walking around the club creeping on every girl (Hello, Desperate!) or the guy who is having fun with his friends and seems genuinely happy with himself? Please don't be that person slapping ass in the club!

All jokes aside, when you are happy with yourself, confident in your own skin, working hard to achieve your own goals, and have your own interests and aspirations is when you will meet the right Waldo (who you don't have to look for!) In this stage of your life, you are likely to meet someone with a similar lifestyle and similar values as you (so hopefully you are someone you would want to be with!) Don't be too caught up looking for Waldo, the right one will fall right into your lap when you least expect it (not literally lol.) Instead, focus on the person you want to be when he finds you. Maybe you will meet him at work, through mutual friends, or even on a plane. It will be random, so sorry you have to look your best all the time (just kidding!) But I promise, the right man will find you! So if you are still single and looking for Wally, stop and relax (and don't buy six new cats yet!) Work on yourself, find who you are, follow your dreams and kill it! Stop looking, Waldo will find you (and hopefully have a different name!)