College has been a blur. At some point along the way, the timid freshman I once was grew up to become who I am today -- a prouder, more outgoing, all around better version of myself. Although I don't know how or when it happened, I can look back and say with wholehearted confidence that these past three years have changed me.
Freshman year was my craziest year of college. Everything was new and exciting -- new friends, new sense of responsibility, new freedom, new everything. And as freshmen, we were new too; people looked at and treated us differently, people knew who we were. And it was the greatest feeling. I cried so much when I moved out of my college dorm. The sadness of outgrowing freshman year literally lasted until the day sophomore year began.
And soph stat was a different kind of amazing. We were older, and it definitely felt so. Sophomore year was everything college was supposed to be. The Crom four pregames with attendance from all 38 of my pledge sisters. My suitemates and I neglecting probably 90 percent of our responsibilities, just to spend time with one another. Sophomore year was reckless, definitely irresponsible and so damn fun.
And then junior year happened, and I have to admit that I kind of dreaded it. No one dreams of being a washed up junior. I definitely didn't. I moved off campus and into a home with eight others and it was a huge transition. Off campus life was exciting, but it was mostly weird at first. I missed being in the hub of it all. I missed feeling relevant and having all of my friends within walking distance from the confines of my dorm room that I literally never, ever left as a sophomore. I missed the feeling of being an underclassmen and knowing that I still had at least two years left before dreadfully heading out into the real world.
But I found myself loving junior year for different reasons.
First, my housemates. Never did I think that my junior year of college I would be living with eight girls who were once complete strangers to me. My sorority sisters. Some of the greatest people I know. My housemates began feeling like college. Waking up to eight (usually hungover) girls sprawled out on our cozy couches, all in snuggies or pizza pajamas, ready to share the previous night's stories. Making fun of one another for not knowing how to cook and for being unprepared to enter the real world. Binge-watching "The Bachelor" together and screaming at our TV in unison when Ben kept messing up! Spending every waking moment with one another and openly talking about how lucky we are to have one another in the doll-house that we do.
I became Vice President of my sorority, devoting three months of my life and giving my absolute everything to the organization that has in so many ways shaped who I am. The stress, blood, sweat and tears were so worth it. Getting the 41 new members that I worked so hard to recruit -- that was my favorite moment of my junior year. Probably my favorite memory of college, period.
I've grown up so much in my junior year. My friends like to make fun of me and say that my freshman and sophomore self was wilder and crazier and dare I say more fun, but I would not trade where I am right now for anything in the world.
Junior year has literally flown by, and I would do anything to make it stop. I've learned so much about who I am in the past eight months, and thinking about packing up in a month scares the shit out of me. I'm not at all ready to be a senior, but even more than that, I'm just not ready not to be a junior.
So while freshman and sophomore year were two of the wildest, best years of my life, I think that junior year is the year that I would like to play on repeat, forever.
