Today is December 13th, 2015. Today life goes by fast. Fast food (ordered on your phone). Fast swipes. Fast likes. Fast interactions. Fast conversations. Fast friends. And most importantly, fast romance.
In a society where everything is virtually instantaneous, shouldn't love be too? Shouldn't we just assume marriage is for weird people and getting around is much better? It's definitely easier. After all, why would you want to spend time getting to know only one person? WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.
Yet I find myself baffled. As a woman waiting until marriage to have sex, I do not know where to fit in. I am caught in a limbo trance of my convictions and the world's ideas. I want to be fun, flirty, witty, and attractive. I want to be the best I can be. But for who, and for what reason?
I'm going to start off by saying that this article is not meant to bash members of the opposite sex or overgeneralize. There are guys I have met who do not fit the description below and never will. I am just asking that we, as the young twenty-somethings of our generation, reconsider the way we approach intimacy.
It usually goes like this. I know a guy, he knows me. We are both attracted to each other. We are both in each other's social circles. We are interested in one another. Instead of the first step being "Want to get dinner Thursday night?" it is usually among the lines of "Wanna come over and chill?" Each time I assume that "chilling" is hanging out, getting to know each other, laughing, and maybe working on some homework. Each time I am wrong.
What I usually find is that his itinerary for the evening usually includes his bed, minimal clothes, his television, and the world-renowned Netflix. Curveball. I've been duped again. This guy isn't interested in what I have to say, what I can contribute to the world, or understanding my soul. He is interested in my ass. And he tells me that.
I get paid in compliments. "You're so sexy". "Your boobs are perfect". "You are so hot". "I really would like to ____ you". "Just let me ____ you this one time." "Nobody has to know what we do." "I wish you weren't a virgin." "Oh did I mention you have a really nice ass?"
And it continues on. Anything for me to bring my guard down. Anything for me to believe they actually like me and find me beautiful. Anything for me to feel loved for a moment. Anything for them to get some and move on after I leave.
And today I am done. I am done playing with any guy who calls me "hot" before he calls me "intelligent". I done with being told "You have a nice bod" before being told "You have a nice soul." I am tired of being told "You excite me" over "You insight me". I am finished with hearing "I would love to see you naked" over "I would love to hear your thoughts".
Instead, I am waiting for the right person who is going to see what I want them to see. A vibrant spirit. A tender, compassionate heart. Beautiful eyes. A brilliant mind. A marked sense of humor. A woman with dreams and aspirations. A woman ready to change the world.
A woman worth asking on a date.
