I used to be an expert analyst. At least, you'd think so based on the way I constantly searched for hidden clues, meanings, agendas, and hints in everything someone said to me or in the way they behaved towards me.
Simple invitations like, "You should come!" were dissected to, "We don't want you to come, but we feel obligated to say something to you."
"You look so pretty today!" became "You look ugly every other day."
"No, I can't come, I'm sorry!" became "I just don't want to hang out with you, but don't know how to tell you."
I never took anything at face value, never believed the truth in what was being said to me. And that reflected back on my confidence level. My confidence and self-esteem were so low that I couldn't believe anyone had good intentions or interest in me, and that everyone was constantly lying to me about wanting to be around me. Of course, I made this all up because of a little something that many girls have a tendency to create: assumptions.
Assumptions are everyone's worst nightmare. Simply put.
An assumption is the belief that you wholeheartedly know something without actually knowing. Sounds counterintuitive, and it is--when you assume, as they say, you make an ass out of you and me.
It's counterintuitive because rather than seeking the truth, we create the truth, which in turn, is not really the truth at all. We make up what we believe is the truth because we fear the real truth.
But why? What is so scary about truth?
That's why I'm moving on from being an expert analyst. I'm done looking for hidden messages, done creating false truths, and done dissecting everyone's behavior. I will simply take what someone says at face value and believe they are telling me the truth. I will not read into the message. I will take it for what it is and move on because far too much of my energy has been wasted on being the assumer. I will say my own truths and believe that unless otherwise told, what is being said to me is the truth. Most of all, my confidence is now far too high to read into people's messages. I am sound with who I am and therefore will no longer let what others may indirectly be saying affect me.
I will take everything at face value and spend my energy doing more meaningful things in life.
