Faith.
It is the one word some teens and even young adults in my generation shy away from. Why, you ask? The honest answers:
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a) they want nothing to do with religion
b) they feel it doesn't work for them
c) their parents forced them to go to church and, therefore, rebel
d) they feel the Bible is just a bunch of rules some God made up
e) they don't want some book telling them how to live their lives
Does that sound about right or close to it? There are probably many more reasons why, but those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
I know not everyone is raised in a Christian home with a Christian family. I know not everyone agrees with the Bible (even, yes, Christians are the same way). I know not everyone likes church or even the stuff that goes on in the church. I know everyone has their own set of beliefs, opinions and morals on what is right and wrong. And, yes, I know everyone doesn't like putting their beliefs in something they can't see and therefore, when they are let down by this 'something,' they give up.
I get all of that. I honestly and truly do. I just ask for you to hear me out as I tell you why my faith is my identity.
I am a Christian. I am not perfect, I have made many mistakes, I am a sinner, I am weak, and I do not have it all together all the time. When I was a little girl, all of that was not clear. What kept me going and developing was my parent's influence. They sang "Jesus Loves Me" and prayed with me every night at bedtime. It wasn't until those two things combined with reading "Guess How Much I Love You" did I begin to feel God loved me just as much as the rabbits in that book. That He loved me, not just because the Bible told me so, but because I could truly feel it in my heart. One Sunday morning in church, late 2004, being 8 years old at the time, I said something to my Mom and I went forward. Months later, on Sunday January 19, 2005, I was baptized and there my faith journey began.
My faith journey was not easy. I hit many bumps in the road, like moving from Bethlehem to West Chester as I began fifth grade to live with grandparents while we tried finding a new home to live in. That elementary school in West Chester, I dealt with being verbally bullied and being treated unkindly, even by the lunch staff as I was in line getting my food. Our family moved to Emmaus and I had to start new all over again as a sixth grader at the middle school. The verbal bullying continued and when the assistant principle blamed me for it, my whole world after that came crashing down. I could barely eat, sleep, secluded myself, and many times I spent time in my room crying. I lost family members. I dealt with drama in school, at home and at church. I hit a wall Freshman year of high school and then just last April as a Senior, I cut myself with a blade.
All these bumps hindered my faith. It put up stop signs, red flags, flashing lights, brick walls, you name it. I questioned my faith many times, asking why certain things happened in the past, what I could have or could be doing better, and apologizing for feeling certain ways. It doesn't mean having faith prevents those questions or makes life any easier. All of that, right there, is completely normal, for both Christians and non-Christians.
So, how does all of this come together? The answer: my faith. My faith got me through the bullying and teasing. My faith kept me together when I was crying, falling apart. My faith carried me through family losses and times of darkness. My faith gave me the wisdom and knowledge to address my problems correctly, which helped me to become stronger. My faith I accredit for the achievements and awards I earn in school. Being my age and being a Christian in this day and age is challenging, but I will still forever hold onto my faith and my identity in God.
