I don’t remember much of my childhood, but I do remember my brother always being “different”. He wasn’t like everyone else’s siblings. I never understood why I didn’t have what everyone else had. The explanation came in the form of a phrase I heard for almost my entire life: “Your brother’s brain has different wiring.” While I didn’t exactly know what this meant, I knew that it was the reason he could do and say stuff that would usually get me in trouble. As I grew up, I began to learn what this “different wiring” meant…my brother is autistic.

Due to great doctors, early intervention, fantastic teachers, and the unwavering patience of a family determined to see their son, nephew, cousin or grandson succeed…my brother was lucky enough to grow up with developed motor skills and speech skills. Because of his amazing progress and all the hard work put in by anyone who loved him, he is classified as “high functioning”. In simple terms, this means that my brother is incredibly similar to a typical person, of course with a few differences. If you met my brother on the street, you probably wouldn’t know he was any different. He walks, talks, and acts like anyone else. My brother is incredibly lucky; some people (including myself) even believe he’s a miracle.

While he is as close to typical as possible, he still had his issues. When I was younger, sometimes I thought that having a brother with autism was a curse. All my friends had different experiences with their siblings, and I was often envious of them. As I began to grow up, I realized just what a blessing my brother is. Somehow I got the most compassionate and caring brother in the world. One who will run out to 7-11 and pick me up Starburst just because he knows that I love them. While we obviously have our issues, and he frustrates the hell out of me, there is not a day that goes by where I wish I had a different sibling.

Some nights the fighting is unreal. We often bump heads when it comes to politics, relationships, gender roles, and other hot-button issues impacting America. Our gentle debates turn into screaming matches. In the moment, I’m so unbelievably furious I can’t see straight…but as time passes I start to realize that I’m lucky my brother can even talk. I poke my head into his room to apologize, but he always beats me to the punch. Apologizing before I can even open my mouth. He has taught me forgiveness like no other person could.

When it comes down to who is always going to have my back, I count on my brother. While we may not see eye to eye on politics, when it comes to the daily dinner debates or fights with our parents about if anyone did anything around the house… I know my brother will always hype me up (well most of the time). He’s taken the fall for my incompetence so many times I can’t even count. He is always on my team, and I’m always on his. At the end of the day, we always have each other.

While it’s difficult to put into words just how stressful it is to grow up with a sibling whom isn’t “typical”, the positives definitely outweigh the negatives. My brother has been the greatest teacher I could’ve ever asked for. He has taught me empathy, he has taught me patience, he has taught me forgiveness, and most importantly he has taught me what it’s like to love with everything. I consider him one of my role models. Growing up with a brother as brave, honest and caring as mine is life’s greatest gift to me.

While growing up, I didn’t have the brother who stole my diary and messed up my hair… I did get something better. I got the brother who used to sit and track Santa with me every Christmas (even after we stopped believing), the brother who will quote Family Guy and American Dad with me, and the brother who remembers my favorite ice cream to bring home to me. That’s better than anything I could’ve asked for. My brother has been my best friend, and greatest teacher all my life…the funny thing is I doubt he even knows it.

To my brother himself:

You are my best friend in this world. No matter how much we bicker or how often you push my buttons… there is no one else I would rather have on my team. You’ve made me a better person than I ever thought I could be. Thank you for teaching me more than any professor or teacher ever could. I love you.