As many of you probably know, Saipan is my home. If you don't know where or what Saipan is, refer back to one of my older articles.

Spending Christmas away from my home and my family is definitely one of the saddest and hardest experiences I've had since I moved to the mainland for college. It’s too expensive to go back home. It's not like I can control how money flows and magically give myself two thousand dollars to go back every break. Not even the great Santa Claus can grant my wish.

It’s a different feeling, you know, spending Christmas in Saipan or even the Philippines. Unlike here in the mainland, my family and the entire island (even the Philippines) traditionally spend Christmas by staying up during Christmas Eve until the clock strikes 12am.

Before midnight, we go to church for Christmas Mass for the last day of Simbang Gabi or Aguinaldo Mass. We even prepare a large dinner - buffet style - for everyone. We call this “noche buena”, a term we adopted from the Spanish culture.

As my family and I stay up, we eat, talk, and probably sing karaoke. Once midnight strikes, my dad starts up the fireworks to signify Christmas (we do the same during New Year’s, but more fireworks). My neighbors and many others do it too. My sister and I then open our presents. We even stay up until 3AM or so to eat some more and have fun with everybody.

The men are drinking outside as their laughters resonate the entire house. The women talking and laughing while cleaning and fixing the food table. Kids are running around, while everyone else have an equally fun time.

Christmas with family is essential in our culture, which is why I get super homesick during the holidays. It was a bit of a culture shock for me when I moved here, finding out that it was celebrated differently. There were no fireworks. Homes were quiet as if everyone’s asleep. It was a different Christmas spirit.

So why do I miss home the most during the holidays? It gives me a sense of family, in a way that I feel never alone in the new year that’s about to come. We have endless laughters, delicious food and good company. It’s a different feeling.