A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my parents about their relationship in high school and college. They started dating when they were both 15 and have been together ever since. We discussed how dramatic they were (breaking up every month or so) and other sappy details. What was interesting to hear about was how chivalrous relationships were those days. My dad was extremely polite, went to the front door to pick my mom up for dates and of course, had her home by her curfew. What I came to realize was that this is not even close to how relationships are these days. We, as millennials, have forgotten how to properly date and be exclusive with someone.
The reason millennials don’t know how to date can be blamed on social media. We constantly check our Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and so on; we are ultimately deteriorating our actual social skills. We have turned to these sites to meet possible suitors and we try to get to know others online. Fast-forward some time and and once you think you might be interested in the person, you schedule a time to meet up. In most cases, this “meet-up” is at one of the person’s houses and it’s usually about as awkward as the time your parents sat you down to talk about the “birds and the bees.” In most cases, you realize that interacting on the internet and then meeting is the backwards way of doing things, and you vow to never see that person again. And hey, sometimes it does work out! However, these social media sites allow us to be bold and say what we feel before even actually knowing who were speaking to.
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Ever heard of the show "Catfish"? The show follows young adults on their journey to meet their online love, and nine times out of 10, they get catfished (to lure someone into a relationship based on an online persona). Usually the people doing the catfishing are posing as models, highly successful artists and the list goes on and on. The saddest part? The people being fooled are so naïve that they drive or even fly hundreds of miles to meet their “soul mate” whom they’ve never spoken to on the phone or seen on FaceTime, let alone in person.
It is sad to think that today meeting people online and meeting up after is a common occurrence. What ever happened to asking the cute girl from class on a date? What ever happened to getting picked up at 7 p.m. and meeting the parents and being in awe of the pretty girl or handsome boy in a stunning outfit? We have skipped the first date jitters and traded that for online interactions that lead to hanging out on a couch in a basement, awkwardly trying to make small talk. I don’t think us young adults need to break our banks going out on dates with potential love interests, but it should be a little more complex than “Netflix and chill.”
Aside from the traditional social media sites our generation abuses to meet people, the rise of Tinder has created a “hookup” culture for those my age, younger and older. Tinder is supposed to be a dating app, but let’s be honest, who uses an app to find their next serious boyfriend/girlfriend? The app gives you a set of people to either “swipe right” or “swipe left” on, based upon the pictures and biography they set. “Swiping right” means you are interested in the person while “swiping left” discards them. They only know if you’ve swiped right if they swipe right on you, ultimately matching the two of you and creating a message window to begin talking.
Is this how shallow our generation has gotten? Judging people off of their appearance? Are we tired of trying to actually get to know someone when meeting up with since hooking up is at the tip of our fingers? Tinder has allowed us young adults to interact with complete strangers, and of course never see them again after that “one-night stand.” Again, what happened to an honest, innocent relationship with someone you met at school, work or that local coffee shop?
I’m not trying to shame those who use the internet, social media and apps to meet people. And if you enjoy using Tinder and are not looking to settle down, good for you. However, I do believe that millennials should be striving to meet a significant other in a normal, real-life setting. Most strong relationships come from meeting in person first, instead of texting before meeting up and maybe hooking up or trying to keep a conversation going. If you have a cute boy in your English class, ask him to coffee or to enjoy a walk around the lake. Be bold and you’ll be surprised who or what might come your way.
