Fellas.

Have you ever had feelings for a girl that never reciprocated those emotions? Instead were you doing everything you wish you could do with her, without the romance? You went to see movies, went out to eat, had all night movie nights, and talked about things only people who were extremely close talked about. Didn't you? Well boys, this means you've entered the inevitable friend zone. A place many enter and few escape. Only the Ron Stoppables and Ron Weasleys have gotten out of this dreaded place. Maybe it's just a Ron thing? All of you Rons out there have hope! And if you're not named Ron... there's always changing your name? Just kidding. But in all honesty, after years of making excuses for this theory due to guilt of my own "friend zoning" as well as the confusing exposure to the way women are treated in movies and in media versus how we actually are.

So here it is. Why we friend zone told by a woman who can maybe give some males a few reasons from our perspective that this happens. We don't know it is most of the time, and if we do it's something that is so hard to control, change, or force.

Alright. If you've made it this far, then here goes. Confronting the ever so controversial "friend zone" epidemic.

We don't always go after the bad boys, it's just what we're used to after. After having one, you associate being treated badly with love. You trying so hard to keep their attention, keep them loving you, and interested in your relationship was an everyday challenge. Whether that meant writing him cute notes every day, to trying all of the things he likes, or even spending all of your time with them. Your friends and family can't tell you how bad they are for you because you being the rebellious teenage you are will push them away because this is what "love" is. They couldn't understand what you're feeling. But a lot of girls do sadly.

A lot of us bite into a few rotten strawberries before picking the perfect ripe one. Don't like strawberries? Well, maybe another metaphor. A lot of us bite into a chocolate bar expecting it to be milk chocolate, and it ends up being dark chocolate. Bitter. You want to spit it out, but it all that you think you have to pick from. So after eating one dark chocolate bar after another, you start to forget how sweet milk chocolate tastes. So you just set it aside. Better? I know there may be a few sexual innuendos in there, but besides that it's a pretty decent metaphor.

Anyway. As I was saying...this is what we women are used to. We associate us trying so hard to keep the man we care about with love. So when that difficulty is taken out of the picture, we associate the men are are nice to us as solely "friend material." So this is why so many men get stuck in the "friend zone." We women are dumb enough to begin our quests for love on men who treat us less than we deserve.

Yes, we do learn from each relationship and each person we are with, but what most of us never seem to learn are some of the more important things. Things like what we truly deserve in a man or the fact that love does not have to be hard, it can be simple. So then it affects you. The men we stay up into the wee hours of the night with to talk about our deep thoughts with. The men who have makeup stained shirts due to the countless amounts of times we have cried to you due to our "boy problems" and bad breakups. The men who were with us all of this time, and we still didn't see that maybe taking a chance on you was worth all of the times we questioned why we even like men in the first place.

The thing is, we love you guys. We are so used to being told that we are the broken ones in relationships, that we would hate ourselves if we ruined the friendship we have with you. Although, another thing we women need to learn is that our boyfriend should also have the title as best friend. Not our only best friend of course, but someone that we can depend on, be silly with, and care about just as much as one. A friendship with the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with is so important. That's because looks fade, physical aspects of relationships dissipate, and all we will have left is that other wrinkly person sitting beside us on our front porch. Wouldn't you want it to be someone who makes you smile just as much as they can make your heart melt like butter on a summer sidewalk? I sure do.

So, men, we're sorry. Coming from a girl who is guilty of friend zoning no matter how much I seem to deny it, as well as had this effect her current relationship, we truly are. It's something we need to learn, and it may take longer than you're willing to wait or hope for.

Women, if there are some women reading this I hope that you picked up a few things too. There may be more reasons behind why nice boys are not your "normal type" but maybe you could switch it up for once. Try something long lasting instead of short term. I have and it was the best decision I have ever made. Not having to beg for attention or worry if there is another girl in the picture is so relieving it's almost scary. You will be weirded out at first, blame him, and then yourself. Ultimately, it is just that you have finally learned what true love should be, mutual love. Not one sided, up all night crying, begging for forgiveness love. Love that wakes you up with a loving text message, holds your hand belting Taylor Swift in the car, and kisses away the tears kind of love. We are guilty of loving toxic men. So if you want something healthy in your love life, try it. It may be really hard, seem like he's clingy or like you need to fight every day to be "in love," but that is not true. You will have your tiffs but it will be sorted out in a responsible way. I promise.

I hope this answers questions, relieves some pain, or even gives you the courage to go after someone you didn't think you could before.