Loving yourself is important and often overlooked. People are usually focused on going on throughout their day, taking care of business and possibly seeing and helping friends and family. It’s easy to forget about yourself sometimes—but you should consider pausing and really think about yourself.

There are so many benefits in loving yourself. It can help you defeat fear. Most people fear things like embarrassing themselves, public speaking, being alone at an event… but to love yourself is mightier that those fears. You learn to laugh off embarrassing moments, to speak with confidence because your words matter and to enjoy your own company.

Loving yourself can also boost your mood and benefit your health. When you take time to care for yourself, you get the energy to eat a bit better, drink more water and perhaps get exercise in. It can make you an overall happier person, which draws people to you and can strengthen your relationships. It can also improve your physical appearance a bit. People that love themselves try to put their best forward, including the way they dress and present themselves. It can also promote better sleep… which all of us college need!

Most people find it difficult to love themselves because they put themselves down all the time. There is this internal voice that seems to always be negative: so and so is better than you, you can’t get good grades, no one will hire you at that prestigious internship… You need to shut that negative voice off. Replace those thoughts with a promising active voice. Think, “No one is comparable—you are doing an amazing job as long as you keep trying and see improvement” or “Just apply—the worst thing that can happen is if they say ‘no’”. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You deserve to be kind to yourself.

If you are having a particularly difficult time in loving yourself, that is OK. For many, like myself, it took years—but once you learn how to, your life will change forever, for the better. What might help are repetitive positive affirmations. Stick some quotes around your living space, in your phone, on your laptop… they will act as visual reminders to try and stay positive. If that still isn’t working, perhaps ask a friend to remind you regularly that you have a goal to love yourself, and why it will help you.

Once you have mastered the art of loving yourself, promote it to others. Set an example. They will see how much better off you are, and will want to do the same. However, it isn’t always easy, so don’t give up on them just like you didn’t give up on yourself.