Donald Trump... it's uncanny how even reading his name, for many, causes a deep instilled discomfort. I can see how his comments and overall stance in politics can be seen as "offensive" or "ridiculous," but we all have to admit this is the most involved in politics many of us have ever been. There is something about this beautiful cheeto colored man that makes my heart throb. He is rich, opinionated and doesn't need to be fact checked- like ever, so with that being said I want to go on record and list a few reasons why I absolutely "LOVE Donald Trump!"

1. He Has Amazing Solutions!

Mr. Trump has solutions for many things including an alleged problem with illegal immigration. When asked how we could fix America's problem his brilliant response:

"I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."

I love this idea, makes me wonder how he was the first to offer this proposal. Mr. Trump has built a very lucrative business for himself and his family, after all, so that is a no brainer. He's a genius. Not only is he going to build the wall, he's going to make Mexico pay for it! Amazingly he has personally calculated how Mexico, a country who's peso is .051% of a USD, will pay for this wall is beyond my college level math skills.

2. He "loves" his African-Americans

Naturally anyone who refers to Black people in America as "[their] African-Americans" has my vote. I mean look how his love for blacks has grown over the years:

(1989) “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.

(2015)“And, you know, I have a great relationship with African Americans, as you possibly have heard. I just have great respect for them and you know they like me.”

I love how inclusive Mr.Trump is towards Black people. I mean despite the Justice Department suing his real estate company, the Trump Management Cooperation, twice, for committing housing discrimination towards Blacks in New York, I believe Mr. Trump will be great for "His African-Americans"- as great for Blacks as Nixon's war on drugs was.

3. He's Extremely Consistent

It's very rare to have a presidential candidate as consistent as Mr. Trump! We have to appreciate him while we have him and vote guys. I'm just saying look at the facts:

On Hillary Clinton

2008
"I know her she very well. She's very talented. And she has a husband that I also like very much. I think she's going to get the nomination rather easily."


2016
“It is always hot when I perform because the crowds are so big. These rooms were not designed for this kind of a crowd … I don’t know, folks, you think Hillary would be able to stand up here for an hour and do this? I don’t think so.”

His 2016 remark was referring to Clinton's spell of pneumonia, it only makes sense for him to make fun of her because he is the pinnacle of American health: he is overweight, has a family history of Alzheimer's, doesn't regularly exercise and loves fast food.

On TV

February 2015
“I don’t have a lot of time for listening to television.”

July 2015
“I actually love watching television.”

On Conflict

2004
“If you can avoid an altercation, do so.”

2007
“If someone attacks you, do not hesitate. Go for the jugular.”

On Handshaking

2007
“When you shake somebody’s hand, go with it. It is very important. Shaking hands with someone means you are making a deal.”

2004
“Some business executives believe in a firm handshake. I believe in no handshake. It is a terrible practice. So often, I see someone who is obviously sick, with a bad cold or the flu, who approaches me and says, ‘Mr. Trump, I would like to shake your hand.’ It’s a medical fact that this is how germs are spread."

I'm Voting Trump

Okay, I guess the truth is out now, I really love Donald Trump. Not because I think he'll make a great president, but because I think the very opposite. The only word I can think to describe myself is the German word: schadenfreude. I think that if Mr. Trump wins and the America goes to "the crapper" then it would be well deserved. It's up to us, as Americans, to pay attention to our politics and vote responsibly. If you honestly don't care about the outcome then don't vote but just know that I'm going to vote for him because I understand my vote matters and he has a great chance of winning and creating his glorious wall. So if you want to stop the inevitable then you have to be the change.

#GoVote