What is a Love Language?
It is easily described as how we express our love for others and how we want to be loved in return.
There are five different languages.
1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Physical Touch
5. Acts of Service
One of the biggest misconceptions about love languages is that it's meant for you and your romantic partner, but it's not! Love languages can be spoken in friendships and families as well as your romantic relationships.
Personally, my significant other and I take the test every six months because we know that our relationship changes as we grow and it's always important to have a nice refresher. My love languages most recently were:
1. Acts of Service
2. Quality Time
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Physical Touch
5. Receiving Gifts
What this means is that I feel valued and understood and loved when my significant other performs an act of service for me. For me this means emptying the dishwasher or folding the laundry or surprising me with a nice home-cooked meal. When I see my S/O do these things for me it tells me that he knows how I'm feeling and he wants to show his love for me by making my days easier. My second love language, Quality Time, can be shown by just sitting with me, talking to me about our days, watching a movie or something. I would appreciate that a lot more than if he came home with a gift I didn't ask for.
My partner's #1 love language is Physical Touch. This means that it is important to him for me to keep physical contact. This can be just a warm hug or holding his hand in the grocery store. Cuddles before bed is a favorite, too. With just a simple touch, he knows that I am there with him and it is an unspoken "I love you".
So clearly our languages are different, but this isn't a bad thing. It just means that we have to be more conscious about what we do. Some days I don't want to be touched, but I have to remember that he is just trying to show his affection for me. Likewise, he knows that while I appreciate the extra hug here and there, I would really love for the dishes to be done.
My #1 love language wasn't always Acts of Service. It used to be Quality Time but when we moved in together I started to feel very housewife-y and that's when I realized, our situation has changed which means our languages have likely changed, too. It only takes five minutes to take the quiz and make the changes needed.
The Love Languages are about understanding your relationships better. It can help you learn what can help them or hurt them the most. For example, I know that if I reject the physical touch from my partner, he's going to feel hurt. Similarly, if I asked him to switch the laundry and he forgot, I would be upset.
Implementing the love languages into your relationships will take time so make sure to be consciously making the necessary changes. If you want to learn more about them you can check out the book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
