Recently I read a post on VSCO (ladies, if you know you know) that said something that really stuck with me…
"You'll lose a lot of people when you're focusing on yourself. Don't feel sorry for evolving."
Whether I like to admit it or not, I have definitely lost some friends this year and it's only my freshman year of college?? I was definitely down in the dumps and felt like I was never going to make new friends. I kept asking myself what was wrong with me and why I felt so guilty for the decisions I respectfully made.
But the more I thought about it I realized, "uhh syd… you need to stop worrying about whether or not you have friends and take this energy to do something productive and to focus on things that are more important like school and your mental health"
Sometimes you might not realize that the only thing you need sometimes is isolation- a time to focus on yourself and work on things to improve your life.
Having some time to yourself and not having to worry about keeping up with a super busy social life allows you more time to disconnect during the day or whenever you feel like you need to honestly. Whether that be putting your phone in the other room for a while, watching Netflix, painting, listening to music, etc, the time you spend with yourself is like a little mind break. I like to think of it as pausing time to recollect and then move on. It's so important to give yourself time with yourself. Do things that make YOU happy. Do things that you enjoy doing alone.
If your friends make you feel like this ☹ more than they make you feel like this 😊… then think about this "loss" as a gain.
When I was having issues in my friend group, I decided to try new things and ended up getting a job which helped a lot! I got to stay busy, make money, and meet new people from the area which made me feel powerful. I knew I was going to be okay and that was comforting.
I began to hangout with people that were interested in the same hobbies as me and through them I met even more people that I had things in common with. I was uplifted and inspired by all of these new things that I started more projects… like this one!!!
I was painting---- and I'm not talented at all but some of them turned out surprisingly well??, writing, meeting cool humans, i was doing so many things that required me to reach outside of my comfort zone which is something i had not done in a long time. It was rewarding to watch myself grow over something that i thought was going to cause me stress.
While it is upsetting that I had to come to the conclusion that losing friends is okay BY LOSING FRIENDS… I am glad that I learned from my experience. You may be going through something similar which is why I just wanted to give a friendly reminder to keep your head up! Things will get easier and you have so many new doors to open!!
The point is...Everything happens for a reason. Just reading over my experience makes the phrase "when one door closes, another one opens" even more true.
Sometimes to get to the good parts of life you have to experience the bad ones. Don't beat yourself up for wanting different things than someone you thought was you BFF, things happen!! You should always keep your best interest in mind and you shouldn't feel like your stuck in a friendship with someone just because you aren't interested in the same things.
You never know what can come out of a situation and focusing on the good parts of those situations is a VERY good place to start
Self Care All 2019!!!!
