Why Living with Resentment is No Way to Live | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Why Living with Resentment is No Way to Live

A guide on letting go

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Why Living with Resentment is No Way to Live
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I get it. People suck sometimes. A lot. In turn, you will find reasons to justify your resentment toward others by reminding yourself (and others) why your feelings are reasonable, which often times it might seem like they are, but here is the thing: by resenting others, you are only allowing negativity into your life by keeping those feelings alive inside.

Before you say, "Ok, but you also don't know what happened," let me tell you that it does not matter what it was.

I am not saying that you have to get up and forgive those that harmed or hurt you, or forget situations, although it might be a good idea in some cases. What I am saying is that it does not matter what it was, because that is something they should carry on their conscience, not you.

The reality of life is that people cheat, people say they love you and then make you look dumb when you find out that you are not the only one they claim to love. People lie, and people say things that they later wish they wouldn't have. Some will be your friends and then later decide that they do not want to. Others will leave you, with no explanation, and many many people in y our life will hurt you, but all in all people are people, and they are bound to mess up. I am not justifying any negative actions, but I am telling you to hear me out.

Throughout the course of my 22 years of life, I have learned something, and have for the most part, mastered the art of letting go.

Not too long ago, my professor told me something that stuck; he said, "We cannot control how other people act or what people say, but we can control how we react to it all."

And ladies and gentlemen, that is absolutely right.

I lived a long time mad at the world, and the people that wronged me, I swore I would resent them for life, because how could they have done what they did?

But I learned that in all of that, I had the power the whole time, and in a sense I let them treat me the way they did, by ignoring the warning signs.

Yes, those wrongs did impact my life in many ways, mostly negatively, and yes those things did cause a lot of grief, but there came a time where I got tired of feelings sad, and angry, so I told myself I had to do something about that problem.

I learned from my mistakes, and continue to do so. I learned that I dictate my own life, and the path that I take, and that whatever action or consequence will stem directly from the decisions that I make.

I learned that getting mad and yelling at others, fighting, degrading, or belittling them for hurting me, did nothing, and it only showed that I was no different than them, and as Gandhi once said, "an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind." So I knew that was not the way to go.

Plus, some people feed off of those negative feelings that they cause! I know for a fact many of you have experienced this. We all know that someone who loves the attention, whether positive or negative.

Also, if you store resentment inside, we know how much room it takes up in your heart and on your mind, and that only means that there is hardly any room left for the good things like love and laughter, and happiness.


So, for those of you who are resenting someone right now, ask yourself what you can do to let it go.

1. You can't change how they feel, but you can change how you will let yourself feel about them or the situation.

2. Having negative feelings only obscure your good ones, and overall stunt your emotional growth.

3. It is okay to take a while to forgive, or let go, but with time, you realize that there is always something to be learned from every situation, the lessons will come with wisdom.

4. Recognizing that perhaps you were partially to blame, is a crucial step, and perhaps that is all you need to let go.

5. Even if it was something drastic or very tragic, remember that from here on out, YOU hold the power over your life, and no one can take away your worth or value, no matter what it is that they have done to you.

Overall, I hope you acknowledge that in keeping resentful feelings, it only hurts you in the end. Living a life of positivity begins with you, and it is ultimately up to you to define what you will become. Perhaps you cannot change what happened to you, but you can shape what will come next.

So with letting go, comes tranquility both in mind and in spirit, and I hope that this message can help you with achieving only that.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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