As a Bama girl currently living in Minnesota, I get asked all the time "How did you end up here?" or "Minnesota? Why would you want to live there?" I was raised on humidity, sweet tea, and family farm visits, obviously a lot different than the Mid-Western lifestyle. So, why divert from what was my developmental influence for 18 years?
One reason: change.
I did not feel like I truly belonged in the South or the Southern culture. Now don't get me wrong. I love my family, my Southern roots, Jesus, sweet tea, and the SEC, but I did not want to live the rest of my life without exploring how people lived in different parts of the country.
The Midwestern lifestyle is different than the southern lifestyle, but a good different. A fitting-for-me different.
First of all, it is a lot colder in the midwest than in the South, but I LOVE winter so actually having snow during the winter season is amazing and beautiful and heartwarming.
Second of all, everything is less laid-back than in the South. This is not to say that the southern ideal of relaxation and slow-moving is a bad thing, but for me, I need the organization and structure of the metropolitan midwest; it helps my brain remain stimulated and keeps my anxiety at bay.
Third of all, and maybe most importantly, I don't want to remain sedentary. Physically speaking, I want to travel outside of my hometown and experience different cultures, people, and lifestyles. Mentally, I want to experience different ways of thinking and different conventionalities to mature my schools of thought and to strengthen my own ideas.
One major Southern ideal is the "settle down and get married young" mindset. To be honest, this frightens me. I have had discussions with a lot of my friends from down South and they have said they want to get married right out of college so they need to be looking for a relationship right now.
This way of living makes people happy, of course.
The reassurance of having a stable life right into the start of adulthood is appealing, but not to me. Personally, I need to grow as an individual and learn to take care of myself before I can take care of a family. I do not want to get married for a long while, maybe not even at all. I have been told that this will change when I meet the right person, but that does not mean I want to go out there and pursue eligible bachelors right away.
I want to travel, grow, live on my own before I live with someone else. I did not need the conventionality of Southern traditionalists holding me back from becoming me. I did not need the pressure to find someone to depend on to determine my future.
That is why I left. I needed change. I needed freedom to be an individual. Freedom from certain expectations that come with being a Southern woman. I am finding and exploiting that freedom now and I believe it is making me a better, stronger person.
Traditions and established cultures can be great, but not when an individual feels uncomfortable conforming to them. Each person is different, and there are different communities that will encompass what that person is looking for in life. One just has to be willing to step out of her childhood to explore them.
