Love: an intense feeling of deep affection.

Such an easy thing to do and feel at times but can be so hard. We love our families, friends, boyfriend/girlfriends, among other things. But do we really understand the concept of loving? Could you possibly love someone else before learning to love yourself? I know I can't be the only one when I say loving yourself first isn't easy.

Before we get into why it's crucial, we must first understand what loving yourself really means. Loving yourself is being able to love everything about yourself: physically, emotionally and mentally. In other words, self worth. We live in a society where we need to fit it's definition of "perfect". Ha! Let's be real. No one's perfect. No matter what body type we have, what color hair we have, or how high our cheekbones are. Loving yourself is being able to look yourself in the mirror and accept and embrace what you see. So what if you have no thigh gap or stretch marks? Learn to admire who you are and how you look. You were created in God's image which is perfection. Once you learn to cherish your own mental, physical, and emotional beauty, you won't feel the need to be accepted (what does that really even mean anyway?) from society or significant other.

We have flaws. It's that simple and it's what makes us unique. When we seek relationships, we have a certain type. People have to look this way, have to have this and can't do that. All of which is fine and normal but what happens when we start feeling the need to change ourselves for other people? For anyone who is reading this, we have all been hurt at some point. After enough hurt, there comes a time when we may start questioning ourselves. Was I not enough? How does this always happen to me? Is there something wrong with me? It's the most unsettling feeling unimaginable. In order to heal from situations like this, we must learn to accept ourselves for how we really are and understand that certain people aren't meant to be in our lives. They could just serve as a lesson in life. This realization also leads us into truly loving ourselves.

From my own life experiences, I have never really loved myself. I have loved others more passionately before myself. I only believed I was beautiful and talented if it were told to me by others. Otherwise, I didn't see it or believe it. I looked for that comfort in others and if I didn't have others, my insecurities consumed me. My anxieties come in waves where I start questioning my life and everything I have done that led me to this point. Haven't we all... That's when I realized what needed to be done before anything else. I needed to work on myself in order to learn to love every (or at least most) part of myself. How can I love someone the way they should be loved if I couldn't do that for myself? How can I expect anyone to love me if I didn't even love me?

How did I start learning love and accept myself? I began to do the things I loved and enjoyed without letting anyone hold me back. Travel, write, rely on God, workout, read, enjoy time alone, and don't let anyone define your value. Only you can do that. Explore new place. Seek new interests. Healthy friendships that enhance, inspire, and challenge you. We are all talented and beautiful. Whether we can see that on our own right now or not, don't lose sight of yourself.

Stop disliking yourself for everything you aren't and start loving yourself for everything you already are.