Why Kombucha Has Ruined My Life | The Odyssey Online
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Why Kombucha Has Ruined My Life

This is what you drink when you've chosen to stop enjoying life...

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Why Kombucha Has Ruined My Life
Weknowmemes.com

Hello friends! As some of you know, I am adventurous--I like trying new things. So, the other day, a friend of mine called me to catch up. We were talking, and she told me about this drink that she absolutely loved. This drink is called "Master Brew Kombucha" by the company Kevita. She told me I HAD to try it, and that it's super healthy and that it would make me feel great. Me being me, I was like..."okay...I have an hour before work, let's try this."

My friend informed me that this drink was sold at Whole Foods, which was super convenient because there is a Whole Foods store about two minutes down the road from where I work. So I go in, I'm looking for this drink everywhere, and then I finally find it. I decided to purchase the pineapple peach flavor (picture shown below), because that's the one that my friend said was the best.


I open the bottle, and immediately, I get hit with this strong smell that I can only describe to you as a salad dressing type of smell. In this moment, I realized that this could in fact be one of the worst documented moments of my life. I had to be brave. I took a sip of it, and got exactly what I expected, but worse. Usually, carbonated beverages kind of burn going down, but no...this...this was like acid straight from the veins of Satan himself. It was like drinking carbonated vinegar. It was like filling up a bottle with water from the Dead Sea and mixing it with goat vomit.

I told myself that since I spent actual money on this product, I had to finish it, and I did just that (over the span of two days). After a while, it kind of grew on me, but I hated almost every moment of it. I tasted neither pineapple nor peach.

Later that day, I looked up what Kombucha was. Kombucha is fermented tea and it has live probiotics. Well. That's all I had to read to freak out about ingesting something that is living. But then I realized what yogurt was. Anyway...

The next day, I told my mother about my experience with this drink, and she told me to see what other flavors they had because she wanted to try it, too. I went back to Whole Foods and found another flavor that I thought both my mother and I would enjoy: Raspberry Lemon (picture shown below).

My mother and I live two hours apart, so naturally, I had to taste this flavor before she did. I opened the bottle, and once again, I got hit with that strong smell of vinegar. I took a sip and was actually not as overwhelmed as I was trying the pineapple peach flavor. This one was kind of good. Still super acidic and possibly toxic, but good...if you cringe really hard and try to think of happy things while drinking it.

Overall, my experience with this Kombucha drink wasn't too bad... but it was by no means wonderful. These drinks are not something I would buy on a regular basis for sure. I'm sure they are super healthy and good for you, but they are just not my thing. You don't know until you try though, right? So go ahead, try it. I dare you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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