A few weeks ago I found myself scrolling through a multitude of social media, just staring at my phone screen waiting for a text back from a boy, who I knew I shouldn’t be giving the time of day to. It enraged me when he would post something rather than texting me back, and I had a very important and life-changing thought when I was about to Hulk-Smash him for liking another girl's picture, “Kristen, you are seriously crazy and you need to chill out, this is not worth so much emotion and attention. You are spiraling into a deep dark depression by following yet another wedding account when you are clearly single from womb to tomb.” With that thought, I decided it was time to put my phone down and quit caring so much about what was happening online and with that stupid guy.

Let me tell you, it was at that moment that I transformed from crazy to sloth-like amusement. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still known as the crazy friend in my “squad” (did I use that right? I don’t know, I’m not 17 and cool anymore) but I feel happier and more at peace with myself. It’s cliché, I realize this, but not knowing what people are doing is so much better than seeing yet another friend you graduated high school with getting married while you’re still trying to figure out if you want to buy Beyoncé tickets or pay rent this month (spoiler alert: Beyoncé was great). The less you know, the better off you truly are.

You see, when people post on social media, they’re posting a representative of themselves: the happy and perfect side of their lives. Naturally, I believed that everyone had great and adventurous lives, while mine was full of drinking beer in the shower, wondering how many Zebracakes I can eat before my jeans don’t fit me anymore studying. I began to feel incredibly low about myself because I felt like I wasn’t living my life to the fullest and my life was a real snorefest. I was actively being ghosted (ghosted: a term in which girls use to define boys who never really want to date them but want their attention) and I was working full-time while going to school full-time. I had nothing going for me, or so I thought. I was going through the motions of life without stopping to smell the roses.

However, when I put my phone down, I became more aware of everything that was happening around me. I felt more alive and in the moment, taking mental images rather than taking particularly poor quality videos with my phone. I stopped keeping up with the Kardashians (still upset Kim K didn’t name her second born South), and started keeping up with myself by eating healthier and exercising more. I bought a kayak and I started reading for enjoyment (Nicholas Sparks, if you’re reading this, stop killing every fictional character I fall in love with). My friend group became overwhelmingly smaller, and I told the boy I was talking to that I was done playing his games. I’ve become more focused on reality, and how people actually feel rather than the representation they hide behind. I found myself by losing my representation. No, my life is not perfect, in fact I’m still trying get my life together; but I did figure out that it takes 8 Zebracake packages for my jeans to rip at the seam. Yes, I’ve lost some friends because I stopped caring about what they were doing to focus on myself. The most important lesson I learned from this break would have to be that it’s easy for people to keep in touch with a like here and there, but why would you want a friendship based upon how perfect you make your life appear? There is so much more to life than what people post. Stop valuing your worth based upon depthless words with no meaning left commented your posts, stop getting this false sense of security when some hot guy puts a flame emoji under your selfie (we all do this, it’s okay). All jokes aside, when you cut these negative aspects out of your life you begin to forget the daily disgruntlements and upsets that social media can project. Start watching sunsets, start making a life for yourself that doesn’t depend upon whether your followers like it. After all, Jesus had 12 followers while Hitler had millions. Start enjoying your life by putting your phone down.