When I was going into freshman year of high school, I wanted to play varsity sports. So early on in my high school career, I did. When I was a senior in high school, I wanted scholarships to my chosen college. So I worked hard and received them. Now I’m in college and I want to walk away at the end of this year with a teaching degree. I am positive I’m going to get that, too.
Over the years, I’ve learned how hard it can be to let things go. No, not like Disney’s version of letting go and moving on. It’s not as easy as singing a song.
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I’ve always had this misconception, like so many of us, that if I don’t reach my goals, then I ultimately have failed. Or, even worse, if I do reach my goal and find that it’s not what I wanted, then I’ve failed everyone who helped me get there.
But like I said, that’s a misconception that I’ve tricked myself into believing.
Those goals were short-term. They were for the specific me at a specific time and place in the universe. While they were nice to have at the time, I now realize that some of those goals don’t mean as much to the 21-year-old me as they did to the 12-year-old me.
My goals have changed because my priorities in life have evolved, and that’s okay. I just have to let the old goals go and find something new.
Deep down, I always wanted what our society considers to be the next steps after college. I want love and a family and a job I enjoy. I want to be financially stable after spending way too much money on a college degree from the institution I want printed on my diploma. I want a house that I can make into a home and to drink way too much coffee every day. I want all of the struggles that go along with being an adult.
These are my goals. Like many of us, I want them to happen just how I picture them in my head.
I know that someday, these things will all come to me in some form or fashion. But if there is anything I’ve learned from my young adult years so far, it’s that they won’t come to me how I have imagined. I can dream, I can fight for them, but they’ll appear to me however fate decides.
Sure, Elsa might be right that I need to "let it go," but there’s no guarantee that things will happen like in a Disney movie. Luckily, that’s okay.
I’m not giving up on my goals yet. I will however, let them evolve as I grow into the adult I hope to be. As my priorities change, I will also allow my goals to change, because I owe it to myself to fulfill my potential, even if it means letting go of what my younger self thought she wanted.
