Side note: I wrote this article back in January of 2017 and am now brave enough to release it into the world. Here is my story

I recently got engaged- and let me tell you- the questions have been coming. And not in the way that I necessarily expected them to. I expected them to be more congratulatory, like “Wow. I’m so glad that you found love at such an early age. That’s rare.” But frankly, it’s been quite the opposite with a lot of people, and honestly, sometimes it’s hurtful. I receive questions and concerns such as:

“You’re just so young. Are you sure you want to do this?” (I wouldn’t have said “yes!” if I was unsure…)

“Well it’s a long engagement, I hope.” (Nope. Actually, we’re getting married in three months, yes, I am crazy, moving along.)

“You’re still planning on going to school, I hope?” (Yes, my life and future career does not end just because I’m committing my life to another human.)

“Well I hope you stay happy.” (As if marriage at a young age is an impossible concept)

“You need to experience life to it’s full extent before you get married.” (I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t have fun as a married woman… hmm…)

“Don’t have kids right away.” (As if the way I choose to live my life is any of your business.)

I love my fiancé. I am absolutely, with no doubt in my mind, ready to spend the rest of my life with this man.

NEVER in my wildest dreams did I envision myself getting married before the age of 20, nor did I imagine myself getting married within the span of three months. NO, I haven’t known him for longer than a year. We met last December, actually. But if it was any man other than that man that I call mine, I probably wouldn’t be getting married at 19.

People just love to state their opinions and give their two cents about your relationship, but darling, it will all be okay.

I am getting so sick of people ragging me with questions about whether I’m ready to be a wife or not. I’m sick of people giving me advice with the attitude that I’m in no way prepared for that stage of life. I hate how people have been talking down to me like I know nothing in a world full of high divorce rates and unsuccessful relationships.

My fiancé and I are two very mature millennials in a world that that seems nonexistent. No, I’m not always mature and I still mess up a lot but isn’t that part of marriage? Learning to live, together. Growing up, together. Maturing, together. It’s about all of the tough moments but it’s also about all of the silly, immature moments. It’s learning to love each other despite the messy people you are.

Some middle-aged adults haven’t even grasped that concept.

This is how I look at marriage- some of the longest lasting relationships I have ever come to know started at age nineteen- or even before. Some of the longest relationships I have ever come to know started after they knew each other a few months- or even weeks- before they decided to get married

I don’t want to be one of those people that say, “When you know, you know.” Because at first sight, I didn’t know. In fact, quite honestly, at the start of this relationship, I thought that we were too different of people and that it wouldn’t last nearly as long as it did. It wasn’t until DAYS afterward that I realized that a relationship rooted and growing in Christ is going to develop into a strong relationship, with time. I figured that out during a sermon that wasn’t even about that, but God just really highlighted that section for me. It was in that moment that I realized that hey, maybe he really is here to stay.

I think that 1. People’s opinions about your relationship don’t matter & 2. How you’re perceived at such a young age is (most likely) false.

We are surrounded by a sea full of people at nineteen who ABSOULUTELY SHOULD NOT get married, don’t get me wrong, but what I’m learning is that each relationship is different and each one is differently mature. That is okay.

I do not in any way recommend it for everyone.

People might look at me as some innocent, naive girl that is going to get her heart broken by jumping into a commitment and then regretting it later. I refuse to believe that stigma. People that know my fiancé and people that have been around us both enough to know our character have no doubt in their mind that we should get married.

I think that Americans have lost sight of what marriage is supposed to be about- it is a lifelong commitment that should be honored until death do us part- that is not easy. But then again, is anything in life easy? One of the worst things that I hear people say is that marriage should be 50/50. That is false. Marriage is always 100/100. If you are not giving your marriage all you have, then it will fail. I’ve never been married, but I have been around enough failed (and lasting!) relationships to know that if you are not living everyday as if you were trying to win over your significant other, then your marriage will not go as planned.

That’s something I actually need to work on in my relationship. We get so lost and involved in our everyday lives that we forget to bring back the “childlike” puppy love. Yeah, my fiancé and I might be enough for some people to gag about sometimes, I’ll admit. But sometimes loving each other and refusing to get angry at small things is hard. There are some days when I want to put him in his place- trust me. I forget that he is just human, and he messes up.

Marriage is a beautiful picture of our Lord Jesus’ love for us, isn’t it? I think that is what He instituted it as, I mean, He did call us His bride, didn’t He? Not literally. But God’s sacrificial love for us is what the true concept of marriage should be like. Laying down your life for another person. What an overwhelming and crazy to understand concept. I’m tempted to sing Bruno Mars’ “Grenade” just as much as the next person, but Christ’s love for the church is one to be envied in any relationship. It is endless and selfless and unfathomable and not self-seeking. Not self-seeking? What is that?

We live in a world that is entirely self-seeking. Everyone is out for the protection of themselves, and no one else. Women are completely convinced that they will never respect a man enough to marry him. Getting married does not take away your independence. Yes, it does make you dependent, but getting married does not mean that you can’t still take on the world while your significant other cheers you on. I think a lot of people view marriage more as a ball and chains than a support group. Marriage really is a tiny support group. It is showing each other every day that you will fight dragons with them and jump over every hurdle with them- it is a promise for a forever friend. A lifelong partner.

Marriage is hard, it is a lifelong commitment to someone that is going to make you want to pull your hair out and that is going to break promises and is going to break your trust. Marriage is one of the most trying times of faith. God allows your marriage to go through difficult times, but these difficult times will only make you stronger.

It’s weird for me to have to think about marriage- it’s weird for me that as I’m writing this, I will be a wife in 68 days. I will be someone’s wife. Wow.

But I don’t look at being a wife at nineteen the same way that the world does, the same way that people that I come into contact with do.

I look at it like “Wow. Look how faithful God is.” He gives us what we need even before we would have ever imagined it happening. Sometimes He makes us wait longer than we expected to and it’s really difficult. I know some thirty-somethings that are still waiting for their knight in shining armor to show up. But ultimately, God is sovereign, and God knows what you need, when you need it. I feel really blessed that God knows me better than I know myself and that He has blessed me with the world’s best fiancé who loves me despite the crazy person I am. Who is willing to face the naysayers with me and who is willing to partner with me through our entire lives. I am so blessed to know that at such an early age.

I have so much to learn- I am aware. In fact, there are most likely some married people reading this and thinking “Alex, that’s not what marriage is about at all, why are you getting married again?” Haha. I know that marriage will teach me a lot about myself and about my fiancé and most importantly about the unconditional love of our Jesus. Marriage will be a trying my faith, trust, and character, but I am completely- without a doubt in my mind- ready to take on the title of wife for at least 75 more years. What an exciting adventure we have coming. Thank you, Jesus.