If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had far too many people say to you that you’re just “too nice.” When I was younger, I always found it utterly confusing how most people used being “too nice” in such a negative context. Isn’t being nice a good thing? Growing up, I had always been taught to be a friend to all, to love everyone, and to help those in need to the best of my ability. So when being “too nice” started to sound almost like an insult rather than compliment, I started to question my actions.

As I grew older, I realized that being “too nice” definitely did have its consequences. People look at you as a pushover and someone who just can’t say no to anything asked of you. When you become labeled as that “too nice” of a person, people really do begin to take advantage of you. Sometimes I thought how much easier life would be if I could just be mean sometimes. Maybe people wouldn’t always count on me for everything if I wasn’t always available or so overly willing to help.

As time went on, I truly felt that I was dealing with others’ problems more than my own. I was using every ounce in me to build others up and ensure their happiness, but while doing so I forgot to ensure my own happiness. I thought to myself maybe I really am “too nice,” and tried to think of ways to change this aspect of myself.

No matter how many times I tried to change, I always went back to my old ways. However, one day I had a complete change of heart regarding this subject. I realized that it really wasn’t a bad thing to be considered “too nice.” Aren’t there way worse things in this world that one could be considered? Didn’t God say to put Him first, others second, and yourself last? I realized that one of my God-given gifts is my heart for others, and that it was probably making Him so mad that I was trying to get rid of one of His precious gifts that He personally gave to me.

I prayed and had a lot of conversations with myself about this topic. Even though I made the connection that God wanted me to put others before myself, I realized that God wanted me to make time for myself and my own happiness as well. I quickly found out that this was all about balance. I thought for the longest time that you had to pick between yourself and others. However, I came to the conclusion that you can help others while helping yourself too. I have found that you have to remember to be nice to yourself as well. Sometimes we get so caught up in helping other people and being nice to them, that we forget to show that same love and kindness to ourselves.

So for all of you “too nice” people out there, remember that your niceness and sincerity is actually a gift that only certain people have. Don’t let the negativity of the context of being “too nice” stop you from sharing your heart and love for others, just don’t forget about showing yourself some kindness in the process.