I’m all the time trying to knead out some creative piece of me that needs to come out from within, but I’m always afraid that no one will get me.
Whether it be through creative writing, crafting, painting, photography, or doodling, it’s a piece of my personality.
Writing:
What if it doesn’t make sense? In my creative writing classes, we are always analyzing pieces of work that make no sense in the world to me. But my English professors will yank out some significant detail that I’ve overlooked, and long story short, it’s an amazing work of literary greatness that is threaded with expert wording and inexplicable ideas.
But when I write something a little out of the ordinary or from a strange perspective, I get back: “what’s this mean?” or “why is that important?” or “don’t do that.”
?!!!??!!?!
This is one of my biggest fears: someone telling me they don’t get it, or they don’t understand me. That I’m too weird. That my ideas are too “out there.” That maybe no one else has thought of that for a reason.
Maybe this is why I grew up shy and don’t talk much in classes even to this day. I’m more of an observer; if I watch and take notes, maybe someday I’ll learn how to convey my words in a meaningful way that readers will enjoy, understand, and may even possibly read again.
Photography:
My photography professor always tells us that every photo ever taken is plagiarized. Everything has already been photographed; it’s just a matter of who can do it better or bring different elements to the table.
Well what if my elements are ugly or unappealing to the eye? They appeal to my eye… and my parents’... But why don’t other people care? Why does everything in society have to “trend” to get attention? Why can’t something just be good for what it is? Why does no one take the time to look at details anymore? Where’s the appreciation for the arts?
It’s so soothing to me to just stare at a photo I know someone put a lot of effort into capturing, editing, and sharing to the world in hopes of someone caring about it. It’s a scary thing to rely on other people to care about you and your work.
Crafting:
It’s what I do for myself. I’ve crafted some things for a couple friends, but I love doing it for me. But of course I like it; I’m the one doing it. And when I add canvases to my own little workspace, I feel whole inside. It’s mine. I am my own work, and my own judge.
Does it matter that other people care about my work or written pieces? Well yes, in a career or job setting, definitely. But should I be upset when unknowing people don’t appreciate me? No. I can’t base my quality on the judgment of people who don’t even care.
It’s like a bird telling a fish they aren’t swimming well enough. Who’s he to say? He doesn’t even swim. And he’d drown if he tried.
What I’ve learned from this is to always encourage others. Whenever I have the chance, I praise another person’s work or creation or idea. Everyone needs a little piece of “you’re good enough” in this world.
I never want to see someone thinking their ideas aren’t good enough just because someone, or ONE person, didn’t think it was good enough or didn’t understand it.
The first time someone told me that I was a good writer was one of the best days of my life. Nothing feels better than putting your heart into something and getting recognized for it in the humblest of ways.
That day was during my junior year of high school, and I’ll never forget the warmth in my heart because of that moment. Just a couple weeks ago, one of my professors told me again that I was a good writer, and it still sparked that same sensation within me.
“You’re a good writer,” are the words that brought me to my major in college, and that have carried me throughout it to this day. Like I said before, it’s a scary thing to rely on others to care about you and your work, but you’ve gotta believe in yourself and your own worth. Not everyone is going to appreciate you and your brilliance right away, but you wanna know why?
They’re just not ready for you yet.
