As a young adult there have been many times people have been frustrated or lost their patience with me because of a bad habit. This habit isn't more of a problem, but more of a lifestyle.
As a young child, taking the world by force, living life as big as I can; I hung around older people often, instead of people my age. I noticed they were smarter than I found myself, and I noticed as I found myself around them, some weird version of osmosis would occur and they would pass some wisdom without even trying. As I gained wisdom, I gained curiosity for things. In other words, I needed someway for that wisdom to stick; The small wisdom tree in my small little brain needed to get roots.
As I gained curiosity, those wise people noticed, and one day an older gentlemen smiled at little child Ryan as I asked question after question after question, you know, as children do. I found myself asking all the questions when this older guy just started smiling as we were having a conversation. When I noticed, I was a bit embarrassed and I apologized. The gentleman laughed and said it was cool and he told me it was good to ask questions, how else would we learn? This puzzled my growing brain like" huh? Questions are good now? Mom doesn't like it when I ask too many questions" The man told me to ask a lot of questions - thats how he got to know everything he knew at that time. So, I took that information and I ran with it.
Eventually It became a habit to ask questions, society made it seem like a bad habit
Fast Forward to Present Day
As I trepidatiously explore life as a young adult, I sometimes get scolded for asking too many questions. Authority figures DO NOT like to be questioned, but why not? Why is it ridiculous for me to ask you to explain your logic, especially when it correlates with me.
Let me explain, when a parent asks little Jonny to take out the trash and that harsh three letter cuss-word slips out between his dry lips: Why? The parents explain to him (one way or another) that the trash needs to go out because the bag is full of trash, and trash stinks when its just sitting so you put it outside so that it wont stink up the house. And when it is outside, the sanitation engineers can grab it on their specified day to swing by your neighborhood. Little Jonny has a dendrite connect in his brain with a big "OH!" and he proceeds to take out the trash because he now has connected his wisdom of taking out the trash with why. Before, he only knew the trash goes out, now he knows why the trash goes out, and why it is important that his parent (or guardian) asks him to take out the trash. Jonny now understands that his parent knows more than he does, this builds respect, understanding, and trust in the parental figure. Glory!
Take a similar scenario to the mix. Lets say the parental figure is a dean of your college,, or a boss in a job (or anything, this happens all the time y'all). You are Jonny. In this scenario instead of authority asking you to do something, You ask the authority; Someone who's job is to help you (In this case, the purpose of faculty on college campuses are to help you and me; the students). They shut you down completely with a NO and you kindly ask - Why? Then they hit you with that (thick, angry, southern voice) "Son, you DO NOT ask the DEANWhy." (Although this example is based from real events, It would be incredibly irresponsible of me to actually say what faculty member did this to me, in my time of need.) Loosely I slip out the "Why not?" I mean, right now this situation is life or death in my mind. Of course, that word goes as disrespect, and the conversation goes nowhere. except to my demise.
But wait, my question wasn't answered. Why can I not ask the "DEAN" why he can't do something for me? Furthermore, why cant he tell me? Does he not even have a reason? Is it a secret? Man, I need some answers! Instead of the first example where respect, understanding, and trust were built, now I'm left frustrated, confused and annoyed.
The worst part about this is: Society, the one that doesn't like me asking questions, is the one one who conditioned me to ask questions. It became a habit to ask questions because I was taught over and over to ask questions, now it is frowned upon.
Some who read this are questioning my statement like they aren't contributing, or going to contribute to this sometime in their life. When little Jonny and his friend get into something stupid, I mean something bad, terrible childish behavior, children find themselves in trouble somehow. Jonny puffs out his chest and exclaims to his mother that his friend told him to do it. And what does the mother say? Oh come on. You all know cause you either did it, had it done to you, or you will do it to your kids one day. She says: "Well if your friend jumped off a bridge would you do it?!" Then Jonny's chest deflates as his mom just dropped the deepest thing he's ever heard in his life onto his pecks. Jonny's mom is teaching him to think for himself! She wants him to ask questions to use his own logic to make his own decisions so that he will become a leader and NOT a follower! (and hopefully not find himself in situations like that again)
In classrooms, say fourth or fifth grade, when the teacher finishes the lesson and asks the class if anyone has questions and the class falls silent like the bugs that explore your house when you sleep (you're welcome for that), and the teacher is left at the front of class swinging their arms looking at us, look at them. The teacher gets a little upset or a bit frustrated cause they want you to engage and ask questions so they can teach you more stuff, and that one kid raises his or her hand to make them happy and life goes on.
Teachers beg for your questions when in class but after the lesson they shut down and straight up ignore you as you ask them to please explain why you cant go to the bathroom as a senior in High School when next year You'll be expected to act like an adult and live on your own in a school dormitory.
The same people that slandered us as children for not asking questions now slander us, as young adults, for asking questions!
HOW CAN THIS BE SUCCESSFUL?
Why is it wrong to ask why?
Why is it disrespectful to ask why?
Why can I cry out to God, the maker of you and me, and say "Why God? Why?!" and he can patently say that he is preparing me for something greater than I currently know, but cant ask a teacher why _____ outside of questions he or she has planned for the students to ask in the lesson?
Before you assume I'm naive, I know there are times when my learning isn't at the best interest of the situation. If situations arise, I'm fully aware of times when it is a good time to ask questions, or to do what I'm told quickly for safety reasons, time reasons, etc.
Asking questions isn't inappropriate. Don't be upset that I like to pick brains of people who know more than i do because I want to keep moving; I want to keep learning. It's a blessing and a curse, but I've taken the responsibility of life long learning very seriously. Your opinion of me questioning you doesn't overpower the responsibility. Take it as a compliment that I see you as someone who knows more than I do. Take it as respect, that's what is behind the questions.
Instead of stamping a Scarlett "W" (or Q for "Questioner", you get the point) on my hoodie, be patient with me. I'm just another soul trying to understand what the heck is going on around here.
