Growing up, we are taught to be kind, whether it be sharing toys, saying hello, or even holding the door for someone. This all makes kindness a common term we hear every day. Being kind, however, is not always as easy as it sounds.
I’d like to believe I was the normal kid. While I was never rude or a bully to anyone, I didn't make a significant effort to be kind all the time, either. In fact, I often tried to keep my distance from others. It seemed easier to pass someone by rather than go out of my way and risk embarrassment or, worse still, rejection. Maybe I was just lost in my own world.
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Then, one day I experienced firsthand someone who was very unkind to another person. I watched how others would be snarled at for no reason, or would see no one helping that kid who drops their belongings in the hallway. I started to wonder how a human being could be so unfriendly and destructive. As years passed by, I watched and studied those who were unkind, until one day I finally decided that I would be the individual who would be kind to all. However, I soon learned that being kind is not a simple task.
First of all, kindness requires you to think about others, many who often think only about themselves and might look down on you. As a result, it’s hard to be kind when people might not even appreciate your good intentions.
Another major obstacle to being kind is time. When you’re in a rush, it’s easy to be thoughtless of others. For example, imagine a homeless person coming up to your car, asking you to stop and give money. It’s much more important to get to where you want to go than to take the time to toss a dollar in that old man’s bucket. Is time really that important to us, or do we just not want the inconvenience?
Apart from risking embarrassment or rejection, or being too busy to be bothered, maybe the real reason we appear to act unkindly is our own lack of self-esteem. We all want to be perceived as strong so that we’ll be respected. Some people, in order to appear strong to their peers, will purposely ignore others whom they feel are beneath them. After all, who wants to be seen saying a few kind words to a washroom attendant or speaking to an elderly lady sitting alone on the bus? In our determination to be strong, however, the exact opposite happens; we become weak, and miss opportunities to gain respect.
Yet not being kind because of a lack of self-esteem boils down to something deeper: shyness. My older sister still struggles sometimes to make that kind little gesture. Is she unkind? No, not at all! In fact, she's one of the kindest, most genuine people I know. She's just extremely afraid of putting herself out there. Just saying “hi” can be a stomach-churning experience for her. My whole life my family has tried helping her overcome this fear, and she's just now getting to the point of dealing with this insecurity. How? She opened up and let her kind heart be her guide instead of her overthinking mind. Now she's in her freshman year at college, using her heart as her guide, making friends, and building new relationships as she grows. This shows that kindness works both ways. It’s a win-win situation.
So let’s remember to show kindness every day. The smile, the compliment and the offer to help will always brighten someone’s day. Don’t be afraid to make people feel important and respected. It could be a stranger who will never know your name; it could be someone who thought no one cared; it could even be someone close to you who needs to know you will always be a loyal friend, sister, or brother. And in time, we won’t have to remember to be kind. It will just be the way we are—the way we should all be—kind and caring human beings.
