Donovan McNabb is known throughout the United States as the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles during the the Bush Jr. administration. But in my basement he is known for being on the cover of Madden 06, and also for waxing my ass in NFL Street for the original Xbox. I don't know enough about Donovan McNabb to attest to his actual career skills and accolades, I figure he was a pretty great player, maybe even a Hall-of-Famer, but good lord, in NFL Street he is unstoppable and has made my life a living hell ever since my team went toe-to-toe with the rascal.
First of all, you need to understand that this is street ball and the game was made in 2004. There are few rules and no injuries, allowing for some audacious maneuvers and crushing hits. There are 7 players on each team and every player handles offense and defense. Think of it as a 7-on-7 game at a big family cookout, except instead of your relatives it's NFL players and The X-Ecutioners. So Donovan McNabb is playing all the time, never tiring, never resting, never grabbing that plate you fixed him until I finish eating dirt.
What makes Donovan McNabb so good? Not only is he an excellent passer, he's one of those fast quarterbacks in this game, like Mike Vick (this is 2004, so before the dog thing) and my custom-made QB Hurley Hefts, named so because he both hurls and hefts the rock. McNabb can run with the best of us if my D is big and none of his flock is open, exploiting the wide-open pocket when my linemen can't breach. Sorry for the street vernac, I get pent-up about this. And to top off McNabb's speed, the dude is huge! Whenever he runs and I assume my linebacker Boss Meadows will deck him on contact, D-Van just eats it and I get slapped with a big meaty forearm. Talk about getting served.
McNabb's defensive prowess strikes fear into me whenever I see him on the field. He's intercepted more passes than any other player in the game. And he's a QB! He might as well be an extra linebacker who can also run the ball on offense. I must admit my team, we're called Ice Age 2 if you were wondering, is not very strong on the passing front. At least 80% of the chains are moved through my running back Clint Maddox. But I throw less interceptions against any other team in the game, even the NFL Legends, than I do against the Eagles solely because of Donovan McNabb. Let it be known I would rather throw to Ronnie Lott or Ed Reed than I would Donovan McNabb. I could recruit him to be on my team in the campaign mode, but I don't do that with anyone. I got my original seven and now Lawrence Taylor as of last Sunday. They're all I need.
I don't know if it's because I usually play Donovan McNabb on the snow level because that's the NFC East territory in the campaign mode, and that level is a narrow den of suck, or if my copy of NFL Street is just cursed with a maliciously, unreasonably skilled Donovan McNabb. If he keeps handling me like this I might just have to get a job so I don't dwell on looking like a fool. Not much else to say other than I post poor-quality snippets of NFL Street on my tumblr from time to time and you should check them out if Game of Thrones isn't on.
