The definition of consent is "to give permission for something to happen." Simple, right? Easy to understand. It sounds like it is. It should be. But in this day and age, it seems to be a very big issue in our society, when it shouldn't be. Who knew listening and understanding to someone say "yes" or "no" could apparently be so difficult?
A few weeks ago, I went to a party on my college campus. Well into the evening, a guy came up to me, introduced himself and then asked me to dance. And when I declined because I was leaving, he said he respected that and wished me a good night. And that was it. It was such a small thing, but it really shocked me. It's ridiculous that such a simple, courteous action surprised me so much. That should be the norm. That should be how it always is.
Last weekend, I went to a concert. There was a very large man next to me, very obviously drunk. While I was dancing with my friends and enjoying myself, he threw his arm around my shoulder and grabbed my breast and tried to pull me into him. Luckily, when I shoved him off of me and screamed at him to get his hands off me, he backed off. But he gave me a look like it was me that was the crazy one. And the worst part? That this was something I expected more than a man politely asking me to dance. I went into this concert knowing that there was a big chance something like that could happen. I went into that party thinking the same.
How is it that we live in a society where it is more common to be groped or harassed than being polite and asked to dance? And being respected when you decline? That was so much more shocking to me than being groped. And that alone is sickening.
It's the simple understanding of "yes" or "no." Two easy words. With clear meaning. There are so many cases every day on the news of women denying a man in the bar and getting stabbed. Or refusing a second date and getting shot. It's truly horrifying that this is a common occurrence. And simple respect is not.
Women shouldn't be afraid to say no. We shouldn't have to give out fake phone numbers just so we'll be left alone. We shouldn't have to say "I have a boyfriend" to shake some creep off. We should just be able to say "no." Saying "no" should be enough. No explanation should be needed. Respect what is said.
