Growing up, I played with baby dolls. I fed them, held them, cared for them and like most little girls, I couldn't wait to have actual kids to care for when I was older. However, the more I age, the more I realize just what having kids entails. It's work. A lot of work. Work I'm not certain I can handle. Don't get me wrong, the idea of having children doesn't disgust me; it would be really life-changing and incredible to have a little you someday but hear me out as to why I'm hesitant.
When you decide to have a child, you're signing up to love them unconditionally for the rest of their lives, regardless of circumstances.You have to be mature and emotionally capable enough to handle the fact that your child may not be the same sexuality as you. They might have a disability. They might want to have a career that you think is a waste of time. They might have anger management issues. If you are not prepared to care for your child and love them unconditionally, it is irresponsible of you and unfair to your future child.
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I'm also 19 and don't have a significant other, but I'm preparing for the future when I'm older and (hopefully) married to the love of my life. I don't want to rush anything simply to accommodate children. I want to allow ample time to get to know my future husband. If I find my soulmate at 25, great, I can get to know them for years and still have plenty of time to have kids without feeling like I'm rushing anything. However, if I'm 35 when we meet, I'm not going to speed things along simply to allow for my "biological clock." Kids are something that should help fulfill your life, something that allows you and your partner to be closer than ever, not something that you feel pressured into bringing into your life.
Kids also have to learn everything you already know. I know that's obvious but I don't know that I have the patience to teach a small human everything there is to know about the world. That's a ton of pressure. And if they don't turn out to be decent people, that's kind of on you. I mean, I'm sure Hitler's parents had terrific intentions, I wouldn't be able to stand the thought of having brought a bad person into this world.
While I'm sure my views will change when I find the perfect guy and settle down, this is where I'm at now. These are genuine concerns I have. These are the things to think about when you tell a girl, "you'll love being a mom!" It's not an easy decision and it shouldn't ever be one. Be thoughtful and follow your heart.
