I’ve never met my daughter. She has yet to make her appearance into the world. As I sit writing this article, I feel her kicks against the inside of my stomach and her squirming to try to get into a more comfortable position. I feel so much joy in the sensation of her movement, and rub my belly as a way to tell her that I love her. A few counties over, my soon to be step-daughter is settling into bed for the night. I think about her all the time, during the day I wonder what she’s up to. Soon she’ll be coming over to finish her science project, and will be begging me to let her stay up for just a little bit longer before she has to go to bed. I’ll smile and tell her it’s time for sleep. When her eyes start to water, I’ll probably cave-in, kiss her on the forehead and tell her 10 more minutes. Even though she’s not my own child, I’d still lay down my life for her. I’d still make any sacrifice needed for her well-being, because to me, she is one of my kids. I love her just the same as if she was blood. Even with so much joy of having these children in my life, I can’t help but lose sleep at night over them. The days in which we live are so dark, and full of variables that are constantly evolving. The future of our nation is so uncertain, and things are not the way that they once were 15-20 years ago.

When our generation were kids, our parents turned us loose. We were free to roam the neighborhoods, play in the woods, and have adventures. This week, I heard of an attempted abduction of a 6 year old boy, by two adults using a 10 year old as bait to lure him in. Granted, this is one county over from the four walls that I call home. Reports of men dressed as clowns, stalking and trying to talk to children, have flooded through social media. Story after story is told of missing and murdered adolescents. My stomach turns at the presence of danger that hang over all children each and every day. I worry so much about the safety of my kids throughout their lives.

I want my kids to be able to have normal childhood experiences. But what is “normal” in a world with such dismay? I don’t know how to feel, or what are the best choices to make. There has always been evil in the world, but it seems much more alive and well today than what I can remember growing up the 90’s. I’m not willing to take a chance on their safety, but what’s the limit? Where do you draw the line? All children deserve these experiences, but none of them deserve the risk that is taken when we let them out of our supervision.

In our childhood, we were not stifled by technology, and not addicted to apps and games. Instead, we played sports and rode our bikes with the other neighborhood kids. Tamagotchi’s and Nintendo 64s were the technological peak of the time. I actually remember when Dad brought home our first desktop computer, and the whole family thought that we were really something then. Now, technology is accessible at any time, from any place, all in the palm of your hand. How am I supposed to feel when my 9 year old step-daughter knows how to do more on my phone than I do? She’s asking for IPads and Kindles and Xboxes for her birthday and Christmas. As social media increases, in-person social interaction decreases. Do I really want to subject her to that kind of behavior? Should she, at least, have a chance to develop normal social skills before technology consumes her life? But, again what is “normal”?

At one point in my life, I said I would never have kids. All because I didn’t want to raise them in the f***ed up environment that we live in today. But as my little one flips and turns in my stomach, I can’t help but already want to give her everything life has to offer, including a normal childhood. On the same foot, I want to protect her from the madness that has devoured the state of humanity. With the threat of nuclear bombs, and the joke of an election that is taking place this year, how do you cope?

What sacrifices do you make to try to give your kids everything, while still protecting them? How much concern is too much? Where do you know to draw the line? I hate that this article has been so vague, but it has really been troubling my mind lately. I lie awake at night wondering how in the world I’ll be able to teach my girls about the world, but still protect them from the dangers that lurk within it.

To other parents, have you ever felt this way? How do you balance normalcy with protection? Any and all commentary and suggestions are welcome. I apologize that this article was very uninformative, but it might become something that many of us can benefit from in the long run. Thank you for reading. <3