Why I'm Not Looking For "Love" | The Odyssey Online
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Why I'm Not Looking For "Love"

Beyond infatuation and rom-com movies.

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Why I'm Not Looking For "Love"
Priscilla Tonon Ramos

Love sounds great and all, but I think that our modern idea of love is more closely aligned with infatuation. Love is not an emotion, rather, it's a choice. To love someone is to daily choose to put their well-being before your own.

"But I tell you who hear me: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."
- Luke 6:27-36

This is not an easy passage of Scripture. Loving our enemies is not about romantic feelings towards them, but choosing to humble ourselves and value them more than we value our needs and desires. With Valentine's Day, it is easy to focus on the emotions that we call "love" rather than what love really is, self-sacrifice for others.

This year I want to challenge you to choose to love the people who are hard to love. Our enemies in this passage aren't necessarily the people we fight with, sometimes they're the people we try to avoid interacting with or those that we dismiss as unimportant. Instead of valuing your time more than other people, choose to give to them whatever they need, whether that's someone to listen to them, a ride to the grocery store, a kind word, or maybe it's loaning them your coat.

I'm not looking for infatuation disguised as love because I would rather spend time living out real love for the real people around me. Let's not get fixated on the rom-com version of love and forget to choose to put the needs of those around us before our own. Love the people who are hardest to love, love with your actions and not just your words, and love without expecting the favor to be returned.

It's easy to watch movies and dream of a someday kind of romantic love, but why waste time pining away when instead we can be loving everyone around us without reservation? The Beatles sang about love being all we need, which if you take that as romantic love, it sounds rather silly, but if instead, you view love as putting others before yourself, then yes, love really is all you need.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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