I'm spending my typical Friday or Saturday night at a party, just like most UAlbany students do. I'm dancing, singing, and laughing with a group of girls. A hot guy walks up to me and put his hands around my waist. I play along, and we dance. Everything seems fine, and it gets a bit more intense as he feels me up. Fine, whatever. Then, he spins me around and tries to kiss me, but I look the other direction. Why, Macy? There's a cutie that is willing to make out with you, so what's the problem?
Generally speaking, there really isn't one. Your character is not defined by how many people you hook up or sleep with. I do not condone slut-shaming or victim-blaming, and as long as you are single, you should be free to do whatever you feel like without being judged for it. Hooking up is very common and there is nothing wrong with it so long as there is CONSENT and that it is SAFE.
Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator
I've always been a hopeless romantic. I grew up watching Disney princess movies and hoping since I was five years old that prince charming would sweep me off my feet and be my everything. Now, obviously, this is real life, not a Disney movie. Life doesn't quite work like that, and no relationship is perfect. But I have always desired a type of relationship with somebody where we have unconditional love and support for each other, we enjoy each other's company, and we get married. Yes, I'm only 18, but I do have that mentality that when you are in a relationship with somebody you have to have the intentions of marrying them, no matter how young you are.
Also, I have a question. Why is "Netflix and Chill" such a common phrase? Whatever happened to actually going out on dates? Don't get me wrong, I would love to stay in and have nights like this with my partner where we are just relaxing, but where's the creativity? Make memories with your partner. Go on an adventure. Do something he or she is interested in. Try new things. Stop feeling like "Netflix and Chilling" should be the norm for the relationship, as that just consists of you putting on a random movie and... well... not watching it.
How many people do you know are willing to shove your tongue down your throat, rip off your clothes, and see you naked, but won't take you out on a coffee date to try to get to know you better? Doesn't that take more effort than asking "so what are your pet-peeves?"
There are probably many, and there is absolutely no problem with this, but I value somebody's personality, whether I intend on doing anything romantic with them or not. It's fascinating how well you can sing and play the guitar. I love your drawings of the flowers in your garden. I love simply knowing these hobbies about someone, and I expect the same. I expect somebody to want to see all of the wonderful qualities I have, and THEN see how my lips taste or what my boobs look like. If it's the other way around or just includes the physical events, I feel like you would be using me and you aren't making the effort to get to know me. I can't be taken advantage of, no matter how good-looking you are.
I have never had my first kiss and I have never had a boyfriend or even been out on a date. In fact, the first time a guy has ever had feelings for me happened while I was at college. A guy liking me in high school? Total myth. Guys simply did not go for the choir/drama club girl.
I do not want my first kiss to be in some frat guy's basement with a guy I do not know a single thing about. I am that type of person that is so passionate that if I kiss you, you have to be mine, no ifs, ands or buts. I feel that kissing and sex for me should have an emotional attachment because I feel that this is what makes it special. I can't hook up with somebody and just move onto the next one, that's not how my heart wants to play.
Let me repeat myself when I say that having casual sex is fine as long as it is safe and there is consent, and that I do not condone slut-shaming. For me personally, I feel like humans are incredibly complex and interesting creatures, and there is more to them than the superficial qualities. I want to connect with somebody on a deeper level, and give my all to only one person.
As of right now, because I am single, I will continue to go to parties and dance and have fun. I just have my boundaries and I have to draw a line.
