Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat: they've all become common words in our culture, and they're all mediums of communication that everyone seems to use. Engagements in these mediums have become so common that when watching television, you'll see the network promoting their shows with twitter handles and hashtags at the bottom of the screen. Social Media has become a more than common and practically essential part of our everyday lives. But, as common as social media is, so as common is criticisms of social media.
It's on every television news report, preached by every celebrity, written about in half the articles you come across on any platform: social media is ruining us and our relationships with each other. People all over, from every generation, claim that all we can do anymore is stare at our phones, that because of social media we don't talk to each other, that we need to step back and let it all go, that the world was a much simpler and much better place before social media became a large part of it. Every time I see an argument like this I roll my eyes and even feel anger boiling in the pit of my stomach. Taking this outlook on social media is ignoring all the good it has done for us as a people, and refusing to accept the fact that social media is simply a change in how we communicate.
Communication technology has been changing since the dawn of time. As time evolved, communication did as well, and all it's ever done is kept up moving forward. Before the printing press, information could only be delivered to the masses by having a town crier or posting things in the town square. Before the telephone, if you wanted to talk to someone far away, you had to wait weeks for your letter to arrive to them and theirs to you. Before the cellphone, you couldn't get a message to someone unless they were at home. Before social media, you could easily and without much thought lose touch with a close friend.
Social media has delivered a world of change to our culture, that's true, but I don't think it's fair to say that it's bad change. And yes, the world was a simpler place before social media arrived, I'll give you that, but simpler does not always mean better. There are so many things that were not possible before social media. There are so many things, sad things, that were accepted as harsh reality, that social media has changed. In fact, social media has done the opposite of everything it's opponents claimed it's done. In my own life, and the lives of others, I've seen social media enrich lives, strengthen relationships, and make people more present in each other's lives.
Let's begin with the example of graduating high school: a seemingly unrelated topic I know, but hear me out. Growing up, I heard from the older generations that you'd never keep in touch with your high school friends, that they'd fade away. And I watched it happen as well; my parents and people their age still occasionally spoke to their high school friends, but they weren't their best friends now. They'd all moved on. Nowadays though, I've seen people in my generation posting photos with their best friends, their high school friends, long after they've moved onto college, sometimes long after they've graduated college. It's not uncommon to see a girl have her bridal party full of people she's known since she was a little girl. Social media has made things like that possible.
Before social media, it was obvious that you'd lose touch with high school friends, or any old friends who you moved away from. Letter writing is a slow process, and phone calls are hard to schedule. But with social media, you have an easy way of keeping in touch. You're friends on Facebook: communication is 5 seconds away. You can see what they're doing and feel like you're there with them. Connections have become much harder to break because of social media, and I think that's a beautiful thing: friendships last longer. I've even seen my parents connect to people they knew when they were teenagers that they'd lost touch with. I myself have started relationships again with people I haven't seen in ten years.
I have gained a lot from social media. I've always felt like an outcast, but through social media, I'm able to connect with people who understand me, and it's helped me gain a lot of self confidence and self love. Through fan networks for televison shows and books, I've connected to people who really share my interests. I live in New York and I have people who I'm lucky to call friends who live in California, Texas, Spain - even Singapore - and it's only possible because of social media.
Social media makes us more present, more aware of each other and alive with each other. Did you go to a concert last night? We live hundreds of miles away from each other but I got to be there with you live in the moment because you put it on Snapchat. We went to highschool together and never talked much but, because of Facebook, I'm able to see that you just got engaged and I can congratulate you! We were just acquaintances but now we're close friends who even go out to lunch together, because I got to see you posting online about what you enjoyed and found out we're more alike than we thought. I think that may be the single most important thing about social media: It's not just living on our own and eventually sharing memories with others; we get to live with each other, no matter how far apart we are.
Social media provides opportunities and information. You're reading this article because of social media. I, and countless people my age, get to easily be published writers because of social media. If there's an important news story that everyone needs to know about immediately, you don't need to wait until you're in front of a television to find out about it.
As for ignoring each other and staring at our phones, nothing has changed. Look up old pictures: you'll see a train full of people ignoring each other and reading newspapers. But now, because of social media, if I'm alone on a train ride and uncomfortable, I can be having a conversation with my best friend. How can you say that something which provides us more opportunities to have conversations with each other decreases our communication with each other?
Social media is not taking over. Go to a public place. Look around and don't judge. You see people walking through a park on their phones. You look away and roll your eyes. What you don't see is the man showing his wife the photo of them he just posted on Instagram to share with their friends. What you don't see is the best friends laughing together over something one of them found on Twitter, rather than walking in silence because they'd run out of things to converse about. What you don't see is the girl on Skype with her parents who live halfway across the country, talking to them face to face about her day. And eventually, if you actually pay attention long enough, when people do find something to talk about or to do, they put down their phones and they do it.
Social media is a change. Change has always happened, and it's always had opponents. And twenty years from now, no matter how hard it is to believe, they'll be some new form of communication and people will be complaining about how "kids these days don't know how to just snapchat each other!" That's the reality of life, of history. Every generation has new ways to communicate and denying it or trying to stop it is just forcing ourselves to go backwards.
No one says you have to abandon the old forms of communication if you don't want to. If you want to write your friend a letter, write them a letter! Nothing's stopping you. But don't roll your eyes when you see them post about what they made for dinner on Facebook.
Social Media has done so much for us. Don't ignore it. Don't fight it. Revel in it. Search for an old friend you haven't seen in a while on Facebook and plan a lunch with them. Smile as you see your cousin so excited about the meal they just made, and be glad you got to be a part of a small segment of happiness in their lives, even though you live miles away. Live with each other.
