Growing up, my friends were coddled by their fathers. Did their mom say they couldn’t go out? Did their mom say they couldn’t have twenty dollars for the mall? That was okay, because daddy would tell them they could do whatever they wanted, and he’d even add a fifty dollar bill to their spending money. My dad? I’d get some long speech about how I should only spend money that I earned and only on things that I needed, not wanted, or how going out on a school night wasn’t healthy for my sleeping habits and that studying should come first.
Thank you, Dad. For all of that.
Because you taught me at a young age that things are never handed to you. I know it took me a while to accept this. There were many nights spent arguing that you didn’t give me whatever I want, whenever I want for asbolutely no reason. I asked you why you didn’t give me fifty dollars to waste at the mall and why I was treated just like my brother when it came to yard work or helping you in the garage.
You never coddled me. You taught me to do things for myself, and that I should never have to depend on any man, not even you.
Weekends were spent in the garage. I always joked that from your point of view, you had another son and not a daughter. I spent mornings with you bundled in oversized flannels and jackets while I held a flashlight underneath the hood of a car or helped direct you into the garage or up the driveway or hitching up the trailer to the truck.
Our outings as father and daughter included going to the racetrack, eating at hole-in-the-wall diners with the best rice pudding Jersey’s ever seen, or staying in watching the Jurassic Park trilogy (Now including Jurassic World) with Chinese food.
There’s always been lots of arguing between the two of us, but Mom says that’s just because we’re so alike. When you taught me how to drive, I don’t think we’ve ever fought so much in my life. But I aced my test on the first try and am the best at backing into a spot and parallel parking thanks to you.
I used to hate that you never coddled me like a princess when I was younger, and you always said that I’d thank you one day. Well, here I am thanking you. Because at the age of twenty, I can hang up pictures on walls and use power tools and know the basics of how to fix my car when something sounds funny and not have to depend on anyone else for anything that I need. I understand a good work ethic and that everything I will ever want is something I’m going to have to work hard for because it will never just be handed to me. I am a better save than most of my generation, because you told me that everything that I earn, set aside some for your savings so that you won’t get into trouble.
I once overheard you telling someone that I was “fiercely independent” and that you don’t have to worry about me being on my own after college. I take pride in that, and so should you.
