October -- the month of colored leaves, costumes and candy. When I was younger, October was one of my favorite times of the year. The anticipation of trick-or-treating and seeing who had the best costume excited me. In elementary school, we had Halloween-themed assignments along with decorated doors or classrooms. Orange and black decorations lined the store shelves and neighborhoods. Although I outgrew trick-or-treating, bonfires and haunted trails still made October fun. But that changed last year. October is no longer a fun month because pink stood out much more to me than orange and black.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month was observed when I was younger, I just didn’t notice it or really understand it. We had “spirit days” during October where we wore pink. But instead of focusing on the reason we were having a pink-out day, we were focused on beating other classes by having more participation. Sports teams, including ones I have been a part of, wore pink shoelaces, pink socks and pink shirts throughout the month but did not talk about breast cancer, did not fundraise and did not make donations. People posted pictures with captions like, “On Wednesdays, we wear pink,” to quote the movie "Mean Girls."People still do.

At times it seems like we have forgotten the meaning behind the pink. We “think pink” because we are expected to -- we are “fighting” to find a cure. But are we really? What does having a pink-out day at school accomplish without any fundraising or education? I admit that I have been a part of pink-out days without thinking about what it actually means. I realize that these are generalizations and assumptions. There are groups and organizations that do raise money to support breast cancer awareness. But I think most of us are aware of breast cancer. When will it be time to get past the “lighthearted” message of mammograms prevent cancer? When will it be time to find other research methods? When will it be time to find a cure?

Since my mom’s Stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis last October, my mindset has changed. “Think pink” now puts my stomach into knots. Seeing pink everywhere I look, from commercials to the grocery store to Instagram photos, reminds me of what my family is experiencing.

Please understand that I am not negating the love and support people have poured onto my family. It has truly been a blessing. I realize that people mean well and don’t intend to upset anyone by having pink accessories or school-wide pink-out days. I am probably being defensive and a little dramatic. However, I think we should make more of an effort to remember that although October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it is not a holiday or celebration for everyone. For some of us, it’s a month that reminds us that we don’t have a cure and that screening is not enough. For some of us, it’s a month that reminds us that some of our loved ones are still fighting.