“Adopting one child won’t change the world; but for that one child, the world will change.” – Unknown
If you saw me walking down the street alongside my momma, you would never be able to guess that I'm not her biological daughter. We usually have to share the entire story before people believe that I am adopted from the other side of the world. You probably don't know where Arkhangelsk, Russia is and I don't fault you for that because it took me years to pinpoint it on a map.
January 31, 1997
This date is important to my family and I because it was the day I gained a forever family. I was a flight risk, you see. At 18 months old I weighed 18 pounds. I had a heart murmur and rickets, I was unable to walk, laugh or communicate. I was exactly what you pictured when you think of the word "orphan" -- unhealthy, sick and undesirable. I spent five weeks in the hospital because I was born nearly four months early, and until the day I was adopted, spent the rest of my time in an orphanage with female caretakers. At one point, my parents were told that I may never walk and one of my brothers said: "that's okay mommy, we will push her in a wheelchair." However, that didn't stop two people from seeing what could be, not what was. They saw the life they could give me and they pursued it faithfully.
My family never hid it from me, nor did they ever choose a special day to tell me when I was older that could potentially destroy me. Instead, it was what it was. "Sissy is adopted. Her mommy couldn't take care of her so we get to!" was the way it was explained when I was little. As I grew up they shared more and more because I was able to process it with gratitude. In middle school, I used to feel awkward telling people I was adopted. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out because my brother is four months older than me. If we are playing a joke on people we usually tell them it was a really long labor for our momma. I didn't feel shameful, but I was embarrassed because at the time, I wasn't educated on adoption nor did I know anyone else who was adopted. Talk about a fish out of water, add being adopted to the awkward middle school stage. One time, I beat a boy in a game of horse and he told me to go back to Russia. While I know that may sound like a silly thing to cry about, I cried.
It wasn't until listening to my parents share my story with other families that I understood what a gift adoption is. Besides the fact that I can tell my four brothers that I was chosen and they just came with the package whenever they make a joke at my expense, I have a platform that I love sharing and advocating for. Children should never feel the stigma about being adopted because it truly is special. My parents flew halfway across the world, spent nine days in negative 50-degree weather, invested a lot of time, money, and emotional support to one another to rescue me. I know what I came from and I have no resentment towards my birth mother for putting me up for adoption. If I ever met her, I would thank her for giving me a chance at life and because of her decision, I have a story of redemption.
Being adopted has allowed me to connect with families seeking to adopt, organizations and adopted children because we share a common bond. It has allowed doors to open and help other families who are looking to adopt overseas. When I get a chance to share my story now I am eager to let them know the facts about why they should adopt. Official police reports documented 2.9 million orphans across Russia. It has peaked my interest in Psychology because of the nature versus issue research that is constantly talked about. If I could, I would sit every person down to tell them I was unhealthy yet six months into living with my adopted family, I was up to a normal weight, walking, laughing and I could murmur simple words. Twenty-one years later, I am attending college, playing intramural soccer and pursuing my dreams. I know, without a doubt, that my parents are responsible for giving me the nurture I needed to thrive. I am grateful for a second chance and I don't take it lightly. My heart breaks when I read statistics or stories of adoptions gone wrong, but it drives my passion to advocate for adoption because there is good that comes out of adoption.
I can't recall any memories from my short time in Russia, but it will forever hold a special place in my heart because it brought me to a special home with four big brothers and two parents that still give me every opportunity I could possibly want.
