I used to find people that didn’t believe in fate to be too cynical for my liking. I would get frustrated when people equated reality to negativity. While I still spit on cynicism and enjoy distancing myself from people who think the “real world” is a dark void, I have to say that I am officially done believing in this romantic idea that is “fate." This is mostly due to the fact that I have come to find, it isn’t really that romantic at all. Before you read further, let me make myself clear – I still believe in magic, love, and serendipity. I am just done believing that things will work out for the sake of them working out.

A lot of people associate fate with ending up with their soulmate. I won’t comment on whether or not I believe in soulmates because I don’t think I’ve met enough people in my 21 years to make that call. However, I will say, I have fallen prey to leaving a lot of my life up to chance and then getting upset when things didn’t work out. In regards to relationships with others, I would excuse poor behavior under the false pretense that this person kept coming back because of fate.

If things were meant to be, if fate was the driving force of this repetitive situation, the truth is that they would not have left in the first place (or the second, or the third, etc.). I was essentially letting my life happen to me, rather than going for what I want. I still believe things are meant to be, but I think that they are meant to be as a result of determination, hard work and resilience. Not because there is this ever-present, all-powerful looming force that hands out sunshine just because you ask for it.

I am done believing in fate because I have started believing in something much more effective, much more tangible and much more reliable. I have started believing in myself.

If I want something, I am going to go get it. If my current situation doesn’t allow that, I am going to position myself to receive it, map out a plan to get to where I need to go and take the necessary steps to get there. Screw chance. This life is 100% mine. Gone are my days of trying something (admittedly, half-heartedly) and taking a step back to say “gee, I hope this works.”

From now on, I am going to look at what I want, and only what I want, with the belief that I have what I need within me to get it. Being a passive participant in my own life is so lazy, and frankly, it’s exhausting. As far as I know, I only get one. This is not to say that I’m done believing in magic or serendipity or anything like that. I’m just choosing to create my own magic because chance isn’t always on my side, but I am. I am always on my side.