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The Truth About Me

And why I'm letting go...

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The Truth About Me
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Have you ever just felt alone? Because for the past year, that’s all I have felt. I could have been surrounded by people who love me, and I still felt alone. I felt as if I wasn’t good enough the way I am. I felt like I could be doing everything for everyone, but for those actions to be recognized, I had to make myself small. I’ve made myself small so that I can fit into the different boxes multiple people wanted me to fit into. I’ve made myself unworthy, unlovable, and bitter. But most of all, I’ve given all the love I could give to someone who didn’t deserve it. But today I declare that my shame, bitterness and hurt is erased because I know who I am in Christ and that’s all that really matters now. I built up high walls that not even my own parents could break down. I have pushed people out of my life so that they would not get to see the real me and run away. There’s only a certain few that I have let into my life and they’ve proven my theory to be true. I have created a façade to where I do not have to show who I really am to the world. To the world, I am Brieanna Shook. The happy girl who has a bold laugh and a caring smile. But the truth is, I am a 19-year-old college student who is depressed. I am not very happy with myself or my life. I am not motivated to get out of bed every morning. I do not eat like I used to eat, I also do not sleep very much anymore. Do not get me wrong, I am thankful to have the life I do, I am so very blessed, but I am not happy with who I am and how I have handled it. Recently, I had a friend tell me the following; “You’re here for a reason. And that reason is you are here because you have a higher purpose than what you think you do. Sow seeds where you are at in this stage of life and God will come in and multiply those seeds into something enormous. You are facing what you are facing because the devil is trying to knock you down. He knows you are about to be something great, so bloom where you are planted.” You see, I entitled this article as “The truth about me and why I am letting go” because I have decided to let go of all of my hurt and the people who have made me small. I declare that I am a child of the king, so from now on I intend to act like that. I am starting a new chapter in which I hope to inspire others through my passion for sowing seeds. I leave you with Philippians 4:6-7. Which says the following; “Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guards your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.”

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