When we were just little second graders on the playground of our school yard during recess, we were confident as f*ck. Strutting around in a new pair of shoes or sporting a new 'do we felt like the coolest kids around, and honestly, everyone bowed down to us. If we felt cool we acted like we were and nobody really argued otherwise. We never took into account cockiness or how we were coming off to others. All that we cared about was how amazing we felt, and we wanted everyone to know.
I miss those days a lot. Like all the time. When did we start making ourselves feel small so as not to rub other people the wrong way? Why can't I admit that I think I aced that test when that's how I feel? Why can't I say that I am proud of my body and the way I look in this dress when I do? Why can't I boast about the internship I just landed when I am f*cking proud of myself for it? Of course, there's a threshold over which pride becomes obnoxious and sharing accomplishments becomes bragging, but it seems like that threshold has gotten closer and closer to nothing as I've gotten older.
In this day and age when body shaming is so prevalent and tolerance for differences is becoming a rare quality, I think that confidence is more important than ever. There is no reason why we shouldn't be allowed to take pride in ourselves. But, sadly we don't seem to have that privilege. As a young woman, I find this to be especially true. Girls are particularly wary of other women. We judge each other for every minute detail. Just today I was walking through the mall when I saw another girl about my age from a distance, and as we passed each other we glared at one another and gave each other the "look over" without flashing so much as a soft smile. This really bothered me. Why are we so worried about what everyone else thinks of us?
Personally, I like to think that I don't need others' validation. I am extremely confident in myself even when I don't have any reason to be. But, I would never admit that publicly (although I guess that's what I'm doing). When another girl, or more generally, person, is openly confident, people immediately interpret that as arrogance and judge that person so harshly. I know that I am guilty of this, myself.
This year, and every year moving forward I resolve to never again diminish my confidence to appease others. Feeling confident as f*ck feels good as f*ck and there's no reason we all shouldn't be allowed to feel this way. Now I'm not recommending that we all walk around acting like we're above everyone else, but I am recommending that we never let others' judgment dull our ~sparkle~ ever again.
