I am a self-proclaimed, unapologetic feminist. I pride myself on being a feminist. I’m proud to label myself as it, and I think it’s one of my best qualities, but I struggle with it.
I find myself putting myself in competitions between girls and putting myself down when I think other girls are better. I will tear other girls down instead of trying to make them feel better about themselves, because I am selfish. I will judge others for the way they speak or act just because I don’t like it. I am a bad feminist, and I am not afraid to admit it.
I think admitting that this is a problem will help me fix my problem. I need to learn how to put my own thoughts and opinions aside whenever it comes to something a person can’t control. I need to stop comparing myself to others and seeing myself as less than. I need to stop complaining about certain girls I do not like and just let them be them.
As cliché as it sounds, if I don’t have anything nice to say, then I do not have the right to say it just to make myself feel better. I would rather my self-confidence be at a complete all-time low than make someone else feel bad by saying one nasty comment. It's not fair to call myself someone that supports women no matter what when I'm doing the opposite. Instead, I'm just being a hypocrite.
For the people who complain about feminism and think it’s too hard to be a feminist: It’s not. It’s supporting women. Simple as that. If you can't give girls support, then I guess you have to re-evaluate your morals.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not being positive all the time or saying yes to everything even if it's destructive. It’s building girls up and having a strong support system so we can learn to lean on each other. It can be difficult at times when you get too caught up in the moment and you forget what is really important.
But, having a strong support group and close female friends is something I will never lose. There is nothing stronger than a group of girls working together and constantly supporting each other. There is no better feeling than having women be there for you no matter what happens and you knowing that they will be there.
I am a feminist, and I want to be better. I think that is what makes this bad feminist a good feminist: Wanting to make positive change. I want to better myself for myself and for others, because I want to be able to proudly call myself a good feminist.
And for other girls who are also struggling with this: There are worse things to be bad at.
