I have never in my life tried to go after a man who is taken.

This is a hard and fast rule – even if I am in love with them, even if we have history, even if their relationship is new, even if he's acting like he's practically begging me to "save" him from his relationship, even if according to him she's "just a girl."

What I am about to tell you comes from a very personal place. Time and time again I crush on men and they end up liking me too. That sounds great except for one thing: usually, when they notice me it's way after I first liked them, it's usually when they are in a relationship.

Why do men notice me when they are in a relationship? I have no idea, but they weren't staring at me like that before.

The biggest turn-off for me is a guy who is disloyal. It is such a fallacy when women feel good about distracting a guy away from his girlfriend. It tells me a lot about that person and none of it is pretty. The way the guy with wandering eyes is acting usually has more to do with his character than who he is dating.

Firstly, it shows that the boy does not respect who they are with. That most definitely means they don't appreciate what they have nor do they respect their commitments. Even if you were able to break him off from whoever he's with, it wouldn't take long before they would turn their back on you, too. Moreover, if you are the mistress and he is going for you while he is taken... he sure as heck doesn't respect you either.

A man who cares about you and wants you would never put you in that position. He would make you feel like a first priority.

He can whine about his girlfriend all he wants, but if she really was all that bad he would leave her. If he respected you, he would only attempt to pursue you once he is single. If he likes you and is with someone else he needs to man up and break things off with her. It's not fair to her, it's not fair to you, and he gets to relish in the ego-boost of having his girl at home and his side piece. The truth is that he isn't a victim trapped in a horrible relationship, he's just a jerk who wants to have it all without giving his all. You are better than that, but if you play into his behavior you are only enabling this cycle to continue
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