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Toilet Troubles
"So, usually I would never go on a Tinder date but when you are out with girlfriends and a hot Bosnian guy says he wants to hang with you and his friends, you oblige. We head to their apartment and when I realized I may pee my pants if I don't find a bathroom soon. I ask for the bathroom and a friend of my tinder date shows me to it and said in all seriousness that I was not allowed to flush the toilet under ANY circumstances. Having a few drinks--or five--I relieved myself to, nevertheless, flush the toilet. Within seconds, his bathroom was flooded and towels were laid out everywhere to catch the toilet water. To say the least, we were not invited back"
Buckaroo
"In freshman year of college, after a breakup, I decided to get a Tinder. After talking to this guy for a like week, he asked me to come to his rodeo where he was a bronco rider, a couple hours away. After making the distance, I found myself in a small town in Nebraska sitting in some dirty bleachers, thinking, 'Whatever. He could totally still be cool.' Then he walks up to me and in the thickest southern twang I have ever heard, says 'Hey Sweetheart, so glad ya made yer way down!" That is when I decided I would never go on a Tinder date without making a phone call first."
"Wing Woman"
"A couple weeks ago, I went on a Tinder date and brought along my best friend to be my "wing woman." My date decided he wanted my best friend over me so I third wheeled on my own date."
The Overeager Matcher
"I matched with this guy and we talked for a couple of days. Then, without warning, he showed up to my residence hall and told me once he was there. I didn't tell him where I lived. I told him I was out of town at the moment and proceeded to unmatch him."
Taco Bell Drive Thru
"The guy bragged about how many beers he could drink when, clearly, he had never had alcohol in his life. Oh, and he was thirty minutes late. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he took me to a Taco Bell drive thru since we missed our dinner reservations, where he spilled his drink all over my dress, blamed ME for being in the way (which I wasn't) and didn't apologize! Needless to say, there was no second date, but he still watches all my snap stories."
Coffin Factory
"I drove half an hour away to meet this boy at 2 am out of boredom and he said he smoked weed so I was like cool. The address he gave me turned out to be a factory on an empty road. I got there and he was like, oh it's my dad's factory and I was sleeping in the office. Then asked if I wanted to go inside. I should mention it was a coffin factory at this point. I never got out of my car."
The Teacher's Assistant
"I was swiping through Tinder and matched with this guy. We talked for a few days and I knew he was a little older than me as his Tinder said 24 and I was 18. He asked if I wanted to get milkshakes and take a break from finals studying and I said yes. I got milkshakes and fries with him so we went back to his place and hooked up. I was telling my friends later and one of them said, wait, was his name Jake*? Apparently, he sounded like her hot interpretations of literature TA. I showed her some pictures and it was the SAME GUY. He was actually 34 with an ex wife and two kids."
The Relatable Date
"Nothing really went wrong. I was just awkward and therefore it was cringey."
vignette3
They talk to you like you're one of the guys, but you will NEVER EVER be included in "Bro" things
Because even though you were "one of the guys" just moments before, suddenly there is some sort of top secret information that would require some serious breaching of the "bro code" to let you in on, and we can't have that can we.
Even though you've heard the words, "Not you, a real girl" more times than you can count.
Here's just one example of this from my life:
Friend: I wish a girl would wear a dress for me.
Me: I can wear a dress next time we hang out.
Friend: Not you, a REAL girl.
You need to caption almost every picture with a disclaimer that you aren't dating...
However, almost every single comment will still be, "Are you two dating or something?"
But at the same time, you never know whether or not to be offended when they say they'd never date you...
Really, I will never know whether or not I'm offended every time they tell me this, but at the same time I don't want to date them either. You get it.
And your other friends are constantly telling you you were destined to be with each other.
They'll go as far as to write you a list of reasons if you don't believe them. It'll be a long, never ending list. Don't be fooled by this list though. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
You'd get all the girls if you were a boy because you walk them through how to get girls almost daily...
I'm not going to lie, I feel like I deserve all the credit for any girl any of my friends have successfully talked to.
That being said, you have an opinion on EVERY girl they show you, and you aren't afraid to share it...
These opinions are usually not good opinions, but it's OK, because it isn't like he's going to listen anyway.
But they have opinions too, and that's why they'll be the first to tell you when a guy isn't treating you right... and then they'll do exactly the same thing to some girl a few days later...
However, they will deny this a million times and they will never admit that it's anything like what said boy did to you.
And if they do happen to have a girl in their lives, she most likely hates you, because you know him better than she ever will...
This doesn't require anything more. It's just true.
But even after all that, you wouldn't trade them for the world.
You guys know who you are.
Share this with your guy best friend to show them how much you love them (:
Clare Concannon
1. "You pay for your friends."
If I “pay for my friends”, I sure as hell don’t pay enough. There is no price you can put on the friendships and bonds you form through Greek life.
2. "All you do is party."
Do you think I have time to just party when my schedule is jammed packed with extracurriculars, classes, and work? Think again.
3. "You guys all look the same."
Actually we don’t. We pride ourselves on being diverse, caring more about character rather than physical appearances.
4. "You don't actually care about your Philanthropy."
This one honestly might make me the most annoyed. Philanthropy is actually one of the main reasons some of us wanted to join, to begin with, and our events we host raise a ton of money to give back to those causes.
5. "Bigs and littles are stupid/annoying."
I'm sorry close friendships and happiness irritate you? Maybe focus on yourself some more.
6. "I would never want to be a part of that."
Once again, totally fine if you have no interest in joining Greek life whatsoever. But it's always kind of rude when you have someone reiterating over and over how much they would never ever associate with anything Greek life.
7. "You're wasting your money."
Just like how it's none of my business how you spend your money, it's not any of yours how I am spending mine.
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