It was my first week of college when I was first asked by a guy if I "wanted to hook up?" As a fairly sheltered teen I wasn't even sure what that meant, did he want to kiss or go all the way? I had no idea so I politely declined, but that would not be the last time he asked. It became a very popular question my female peers and I got asked. It seemed as if no one wanted to build relationships with the girls they were sleeping with, they'd rather just hit it and quit it. It became unfair when girls wanted to engage in hook up culture too. Suddenly the exact actions of my male counterparts became sleazy and whore-like if they were suggested by a woman.
As a woman I have grown up in a society that sexualized my body since puberty; yet, women get belittled if we are to act on such sexualization that has been engrained in us for years. College is a great example of the sexist nature of hook up culture. It is not uncommon for guys take bets on who can sleep with more ladies, but if a woman were to do the same she would be too easy or just a huge slut.
Somehow when women themselves decide that they want to be in charge of their sexual desires it becomes dirty, but when a man is telling her what to do with her body it's natural.
It is known that sexism is inherently built into our society through the patriarchal ideals we so heavily uphold. For instance it is patriarchy in and of itself that directs "normal behavior" of women. As of now, normal behavior for women sexually and otherwise is to be submissive to men, patriarchal power roles promote the objectification of women as sex objects. I'm not saying all guys who participate in hook ups treat women like crap, but the institution of hook up culture in general degrades women who want to participate in hook ups at the same level as men.
It is not only men who are guilty of perpetuating the sexism of hook up culture, I am guilty too. It will take self-awareness to notice that almost everyone is engrained to think that woman who "sleep around" are bad yet men who do the same receive accolades to their manhood. I know that I have called girls some mean names for doing the same exact thing that a guy would do and I wouldn't even bat an eye at him for doing so.
If we are going to be a culture where hooking up is the norm we need to make it OK for both genders to initiate it. Telling woman that they can't be in charge of their sexual prowess is only feeding into the idea that women are not on the same level as men. Next time you think about shaming a girl for her sexual behaviors ask yourself: if that person identified as male would you still be commenting upon it?
