That one awful break up that seems to make time stand still—everyone has been there at some point. For those of you who have avoided this so far, call yourself lucky. It really is a nasty thing. It feels as if the walls are closing in on you, and you are doing everything in your power not to break down again. You sure don't look like a model when you cry; instead you are only left with those “ugly” tears that basically corrode. You keep telling yourself just to keep it together a little longer. The truth is that heartbreak is universal, even if you feel like you are the only one in the world who knows a pain so severe. Whether it was expected or out of the blue, there is no denying the pain of heartbreak. But is it worth putting your entire life on hold?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to forget someone who used to be an integral part of your daily routine, as well as someone you looked to for advice, comfort, and acceptance. Those memories cannot be easily erased, and that person cannot be easily forgotten. Although there is a very necessary process in dealing with heartbreak, often people refuse to move on. They try to hold on to a past that they cannot reverse. Dwelling on the situation longer or wallowing in self-pity is not going to change anything that has happened. It sure will not fix the holes you have been left with. There is something horribly wrong with wasting your precious time being unhappy over someone who didn’t appreciate you and all you have to offer. Choosing to make no move to better yourself and learn from your situation ends up only hurting yourself in the process.
At the end of the day there is a reason for everything, even a brutal breakup. Even if you believe that nothing can compare to the pain you are feeling now, you need to take a moment to reevaluate the situation. It may take a while and it may not be an easy process, but you need to realize that you are better off without them anyway. If they could walk away so easily and not see your value, then they never truly deserved you in the beginning. Appreciate the great moments you had; appreciate the fact that you were cherished by someone. It is so crucial to recognize the moment when you stopped being so significant to them and to realize that you do not deserve to be treated like a toy. You are not something that can just be used and then thrown away. You're stronger than you think, and you will move on. Don’t underestimate your ability to fight through the pain and learn to love yourself better than they ever could.
Choose to believe that there is a reason for your pain. Trust in that pain. More importantly, be grateful for the pain. The empty feeling you're left with is only temporary. Be thankful that you were given an opportunity to fully invest yourself in someone else and to find out what it truly means to care about someone in such an intimate way. You experienced true happiness and loved without limits, that alone makes you so brave.
Yes, I know what I said. Yes, I know that you think you will never find someone else exactly like that person. Who else is going to bring you McDonald's fries at 2 a.m. because you had a craving? What other family are you supposed to go to Sunday brunch with after church? You've never cared about anyone the way you cared about them. You felt that love deep down in your heart. You even imagined a future together.
Although harsh, they did not see that—plain and simple. That was never their plan.
The person who broke your heart isn’t lying on the kitchen floor crying because you won’t return their phone call. They aren’t going through all of the intricate details of what happened with their friends constantly trying to figure out where it went wrong. Their life hasn’t stopped because you're not in it, and neither should yours.
Don’t worry about someone who isn’t worried about you because it simply is not worth it. Go out, have fun, and don’t treat your heartbreak like it’s the end of the world. Own your independence. There is so much more out there for you, but if you let sadness take you over then you will completely miss it. There’s a reason happy girls are the prettiest. Search for the beauty in the world around you. When it seems like the walls are closing in on you and the pain is taking over, remember that you were better than you were yesterday and you will be better than you are tomorrow. Use your pain as an opportunity to grow and to better yourself. You are strong, you are independent, and you are courageous. Now, it is time for you to embrace that and create your own happiness again.
