Let me state the obvious. Dating is hard. Dating sucks. Trying to find someone worthwhile is difficult. On the contrary, I know that when you do find someone who complements you in ways you didn't know was possible, it can make for a great relationship. No matter what though, every relationship has its troubles. Sometimes, you just need a night with the one thing that, no matter what, will not judge you.
Your girlfriends are great, but that's not what I'm referring to. That thing is wine. What happens in a wine night, stays in a wine night. It's like Vegas in your own living room. For all of you wine-o's out there who are just like me, you're sure to understand. This is why wine is a better boyfriend than, well, a boyfriend.
1. You can drunk cry in front of wine and it won’t judge you.
Every girl needs a good cry now and then. When you cry in front of wine, it doesn't care if your mascara is running down your face or if snot is pouring out of your nose. It just lets you do what you have to do.
2. It doesn’t care what you’re wearing.
A messy bun and your largest pair of sweatpants is totally acceptable. It still thinks you're beautiful.
3. Wine will watch whatever you want on television.
No fighting over the remote or what movie to play on Netflix. It's all up to you!
4. You can eat anything and everything without feeling guilty.
Because binge eating a whole bag of potato chips just feels right when it's with you and wine.
5. You can talk to yourself without the commentary of a boyfriend.
Your day was hard. You need to complain about that witch in your office. Do it freely with wine. It listens, unlike most men.
6. It won’t tell you you’re overreacting.
When something bothers you and you express it to your wine, it totally agrees with everything you say. Hell, it even encourages you to pour another glass because you deserve it.
7. Your dancing skills are phenomenal, according to wine.
A real boyfriend might refer to it as sub-par and who needs that kind of negativity?
8. It doesn’t care how drunk you are.
Dance. Laugh to yourself. Trip on your way to the bathroom. Wine doesn't care.
