I hate… hate. Not only is it aggressive and uncomfortable, it’s possibly the most boring emotion the human mind is capable of. And listening to people talk about the things they hate… even worse.

Hate is defined as an intense or passionate dislike. Passion is supposed to be a strong, barely controllable emotion, so how could that be boring? Truth is, it’s not. It’s only when you become that guy/girl who has something negative to say about every little thing, that passion is no longer a part of the equation. And honestly, you’re doing it more often than you think.

Think about how many times you complain in a day, or better yet, keep track. You’ll be shocked at the quantity of negativity you’re actually putting out, even if you consider yourself to be a fairly positive person. It could be simple small talk, like complaining about the weather or how much you hate your classes. Or even just casual comments about how awful your job is or how annoying you think people are being today. It may not seem like a big deal, but in the long run, it becomes habitual. When put in repeat, day after day, if all you’re putting into the air is negativity, you’ll never be able to breathe anything else.

Talk about the things that you love, and keep quiet about the things you don’t. I’d much rather listen to someone ramble on about something they love, even if it’s not something I’m into. Good passion is hard to hide, and possibly one of the most complex and interesting emotions. Plus, it’s contagious. I love the way someone’s eyes light up when you mention something they love, and how they barely stop to take a breath because they have a thousand things to say. Suddenly, the conversation is no longer the habitual, surface-level small talk we’ve grown accustomed to.

I’m not saying you need to love everything and everyone. You don’t even need to try. But, if you really want to clear your air and form deep connections with others, all the hate talk has to end.

Talk about why you love foreign movies, the reasons coffee is your addiction, how obsessed you are with the sky or all the places you can’t wait to travel to. It doesn’t have to make sense, be the popular opinion or even the most interesting one; but, I promise you, people will listen, want to keep listening and talk about what they love just as much in return.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “They’re talking, but not actually saying anything?” Hating is boring, and quite frankly, a cheap cop-out to having an actual conversation. Stop talking and say something.