Growing up, I always thought the college experience included living in the dorm. Dorms signified freedom and adulthood to me. After moving in, I learned how truly lucky I was. I had a great room, a great roommate, great people down the hall—it seemed like it would be an amazing experience.
I loved my roommates and I got along with them very well. They were some of the greatest people I could've possibly roomed with and I am truly happy that I got to tackle freshman year with them. Although I had the best people around, I was crammed into a 10 by 12-foot room with another person. I grew up with my own room, so it was a change for me to live with someone else. Not to mention, I had very few of my belongings and I had to make a cold, white room my home.
Every day, I have to take time for myself. I have always been this way. This could be walking alone, sitting alone, or reading a book, but I need privacy just to regroup. So whenever I would get overwhelmed and want some alone time, there was no where in the building I could go without running into people. Dorms house a lot of people. While that's great for making friends, it's hard when you need space to recollect yourself.
It was also scary for me. I felt like I couldn't cry, or that I couldn't be angry or upset. I felt like I always had to be happy, and that's just not realistic. Not everyone feels this way, but in my experience, I felt like I always had to be "on." This became second nature to me that I began feeling mortified when I did show emotion. When you force yourself to bottle up every emotion you have, except happiness, you inevitably will explode.
It's hard having your belongings split between two places. I would get dressed for a big night and would realize the shoes I wanted to wear were at my house. When I would be home for the weekend, I would realize I left my favorite necklace at school. Most people do well with that, but I was always confused and frustrated with where all my belongings were. I always felt disoriented and like I had no clue what was happening.
The communal bathroom situation was less than desirable. While we never had a "pitch perfect" bathroom ordeal (that really never happens), we did have people who "went number 2" in the showers and toilets that flooded down the hallway.
Which is probably even more disgusting and equally as horrifying.
Dorms are amazing to meet people, to get experience living on your own, and to network with people of various majors.
You don't need to live in a dorm for the college experience. Maybe you'll love it, maybe you'll hate it. But don't be upset if you realize that it's just not for you.
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Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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