Growing up, I always thought the college experience included living in the dorm. Dorms signified freedom and adulthood to me. After moving in, I learned how truly lucky I was. I had a great room, a great roommate, great people down the hall—it seemed like it would be an amazing experience.
I loved my roommates and I got along with them very well. They were some of the greatest people I could've possibly roomed with and I am truly happy that I got to tackle freshman year with them. Although I had the best people around, I was crammed into a 10 by 12-foot room with another person. I grew up with my own room, so it was a change for me to live with someone else. Not to mention, I had very few of my belongings and I had to make a cold, white room my home.
Every day, I have to take time for myself. I have always been this way. This could be walking alone, sitting alone, or reading a book, but I need privacy just to regroup. So whenever I would get overwhelmed and want some alone time, there was no where in the building I could go without running into people. Dorms house a lot of people. While that's great for making friends, it's hard when you need space to recollect yourself.
It was also scary for me. I felt like I couldn't cry, or that I couldn't be angry or upset. I felt like I always had to be happy, and that's just not realistic. Not everyone feels this way, but in my experience, I felt like I always had to be "on." This became second nature to me that I began feeling mortified when I did show emotion. When you force yourself to bottle up every emotion you have, except happiness, you inevitably will explode.
It's hard having your belongings split between two places. I would get dressed for a big night and would realize the shoes I wanted to wear were at my house. When I would be home for the weekend, I would realize I left my favorite necklace at school. Most people do well with that, but I was always confused and frustrated with where all my belongings were. I always felt disoriented and like I had no clue what was happening.
The communal bathroom situation was less than desirable. While we never had a "pitch perfect" bathroom ordeal (that really never happens), we did have people who "went number 2" in the showers and toilets that flooded down the hallway.
Which is probably even more disgusting and equally as horrifying.
Dorms are amazing to meet people, to get experience living on your own, and to network with people of various majors.
You don't need to live in a dorm for the college experience. Maybe you'll love it, maybe you'll hate it. But don't be upset if you realize that it's just not for you.
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1. You only ask things once.
Asking to go to your friends house a second time is futile. In fact, it may make things worse.
2. Seriously, you only ask once.
You don’t get to go out Friday and Saturday, silly child. Choose one.
3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.
This significantly improves your chances of getting a yes. Pro tip: Doing extra chores helps.
4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.
Who are you going with? What time? Where are you going? Who else is going? Who are their parents? Where do they work? How long have they been there?
5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.
Prepare yourself for a lecture when you get home.
6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.
If you ever want to be able to go out again, you better go home on time.
7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.
Calls start coming the minute you’re late.
8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.
R.I.P. if you see two or more missed calls.
9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.
Because the one room they will not go in determines the cleanliness of the rest of the house.
10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.
Anything remotely inappropriate results in a 10 second joke turning into a 30 minute lecture.
11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"
Disclaimer: When you turn 18, it becomes, “My roof, my rules.”
12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.
Don't be that kid that gets caught by their parents driving somewhere they weren't supposed to be.
13. Don’t talk back. Ever.
I don’t care if you were told to hunt down the last unicorn in the world using a pot of gold stolen from the leprechaun at the end of a rainbow. Just do it.
14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.
Say your prayers.
15. Don’t make them call your name twice.
The second you hear your name being called, drop everything you’re doing and run.
16. Sleepovers are not a thing.
They just aren’t. Why sleep somewhere else when you have a bed at home?
17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.
They might not always show it, but they do.
1. Pets
Getting a pet is great -- cats, dogs, fish, or any sort of thing you can keep makes you care for something beyond yourself and gives you company. (Some are huggable, too!) As a pet owner, you can definitely tell when they’ve gotten into trouble … and sometimes you get a little weird with them. Non-pet owners just wouldn’t understand.
2. Mornings
Without parents to wake you up, how do you even? Or, you know, if you fall asleep at your desk studying because you're working hard. Rough life, man. And mornings were hard enough as it was.
3. Mistakes
We all make mistakes, Ross. It's fine. Whether you mixed your colored laundry with your whites, or you were cleaning and you bleached something that was not meant to be bleached, there's gonna be nobody at fault but you. And even if you're by yourself (or your cat is judging you), you have to own up to it, and move on.
4. Cooking for yourself
Nobody can do sarcasm like Phoebe. Cooking is very exciting in the beginning and all, but once you're at that stage in your life when you're too lazy to even make ramen, and all you have in your fridge is an empty milk carton and some leftovers from last week, well, it's a lot less fun.
5. Hosting
You've finally got a place where your friends can hang and people can come over! But see above. Cooking, cleaning, all that stuff you need to do to prepare for guests is harder than it seems, and if you keep telling yourself that pizza isn't a cop-out, then everything will work out.
6. Taking care of yourself
Just like Chandler, you might not be entirely aware of what health and sanitation is. It's fine, we've all been there. And it's a lot harder than it seems. You're not alone.
7. Holidays
Since you can go all out, you will, and there's nothing your roommates can do about it. Friendsgiving? Heck yeah! St. Patty's Day? Of course! And best of all, Halloween, where your space becomes the spookiest around (on a budget, of course, nobody's made of money).
8. Roommates
So maybe you don't live exactly alone. It's good to have a roommate, right? Especially if they're a good roommate, so you don't have to be picking up after them or complaining to your cat. And when you want to have a do-nothing day, they'll be there for you (and you'll be there for them too.)
9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done
Don't even pretend. That's hilarious. If you can study, good for you, but the rest of us will be over here not doing what we should and hanging out with our friends instead. And cramming and panicking later.
10. Cleaning
If you've ever cleaned a place after a party, you are a survivor, a true warrior. Even cleaning bathrooms or the nooks and crannies of your place before a parent visits will yield some interesting results, however. You never know what you'll find, but it's usually not pleasant.
11. Social life
There's only two modes here: #foreveralone or everything's coming up roses. Without supervision or even any sort of restriction, you can do what you want to when you want to. That means going out ... or staying in. You can do whatever.
I digress.
Point being, family is always there – on the good days, the bad days, and even the days that you forget to shower (thanks guys). They still remind you to tie your shoes before you leave the house, and they wake you up when your alarm goes off 6 times and you still haven’t gotten out of bed. They support you in the bad times, applaud you in the good times, and, of course, lovingly humiliate you in all the worst times.
Unless you’re my brother, who likes to strip down every ounce of pride and good character that I have left in my body after enduring a 15-week semester from hell.
Totally kidding. I love my brother. And my semester wasn’t actually personally gifted to me by Satan himself.
But that doesn’t negate the fact that during Thanksgiving break this year, he decided to tell me that I’m the family member with the “resting bitch face”.
“It’s not that bad,” he tried to tell me.
Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving.
What is it about the infamous “RBF” that makes some people just… have it? Why do I have one, but my mom doesn’t? Why does the girl across the hall have one, but her roommate doesn’t? Why does the cashier at Dairy Queen have one, but everyone who gets ice cream from her doesn’t?
It’s talent. It has to be.
I guess I don’t disagree with my brother. But he’s definitely the first one to have ever pointed it out. If you’re anything like me (and your brother tried to soften the blow by telling you that Pout-Pout Fish was “your book”), then you might resonate with these 7 things whenever someone asks you, “Do you know what an “RBF” is?"
1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.
I already know where this is going.
2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.
I mean, I’m not lying. I’m in college. “Tired” is just another thing that courses through my veins and keeps me alive – alongside caffeine, Netflix, and probably really cheap alcohol.
3. Or “I’m just thinking.”
Thinking about the next time I’m going to get food, probably. No really, I’m not mad. Just hungry.
4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.
My zone-out time is just really sacred, that’s all.
5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.
This one’s really convenient for all of us passive-aggressive introverts out there who hate drawing attention to ourselves.
6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.
Or maybe I do. Actually I don’t know. I hope I don’t.
7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”
Having a RBF can’t possibly be worse than having a creepy smile every time you zone out, can it?
I’ve learned that the nice thing about suffering from RBF is that it means alone time when you need it. Can’t be that bad, right? I mean, if it makes anyone more comfortable, I could start eerily smiling and laughing quietly to myself every time I zone out. But somehow I don’t think that would make the situation any less awkward. So instead, I’m just going to embrace my RBF for now. And maybe go read Pout-Pout Fish. But if I start to seem angry while I’m reading it, I promise I’m not. I’m probably just really into it.
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