The term "FOMO", meaning fear of missing out, has been thrown around a lot recently. It is discussed in a lighthearted way, usually referring to a person feeling left out if one’s friends do something without him or her. Most of the time we see this acronym pop up when girls comment “omg FOMO” on their friend's photos of a dish they got at brunch or of a night out at a frat party. While it may just be intended as a way to show affection towards one’s friends, for some people, having FOMO is more than just missing a night out.

Everyone and their mother who has met me knows I am an anxious person. I am extremely open about my anxiety and do not feel ashamed of it whatsoever. For reasons that I will probably discuss in a separate article, I have an obsessive need for my life to be perfect and in order. Obviously, no one’s life is perfect and usually I can accept that. However, in order for my life to be perfect, I crave the approval and attention of others. While I admit that my friends and I joke around about my incessant FOMO quite often, it is actually a much more real issue than I let on.

I am usually fairly good at balancing out my academic life and my social life. I plan my schedule every day, get my work done on time, and then on the weekends I go out with my friends. However, as everyone knows, no matter how much you can plan, certain things will always get in the way. When my friends make spontaneous plans to do something fun that was not originally included in my schedule, I break down internally.

My life is a constant struggle between wanting to stick to my plan and wanting everyone to like me. I don’t entirely know why I attribute going places with my friends to their approval but much of it can be traced back to the beginning of college. I remember during the first week of school, the girls on my floor all went out to some freshmen event while I got lunch with my aunt. I thought that seeing my aunt would make me feel better about the tough transition, but when I got back to my dorm I felt even worse. What if they all forget about me and form their own group? What if they talked about me? What if they never invite me to anything again because I missed this? Obviously, this two-hour event was in no way an indication of our future relationship. Two of the girls are now my closest friends. However, at the time, I felt like I would be alone for the next four years at college.

I struggle with FOMO more often than people might think. Just one month ago, my best friend wanted to go out on Halloween, which was a Monday night. I had two exams and a paper due at the end of the week, so I freaked out. Should I go to the party and push off studying for one night? Or should I be responsible and not go to the party? There was nothing special about this party and of course I knew that my best friend would completely understand if I didn’t want to go, but I still couldn’t shake the FOMO.

I feel extremely lucky to have people in my life who understand that my constant need for attention goes deeper than being self-centered and egocentric. While I admit that basing my self-worth on other people’s opinions is something I need to work on, I can't express enough how much I appreciate the people who go out of their way to tell me their plans and make sure I feel included.

In no way am I intending for this article to be critical of people who use the term FOMO. I believe it is often a great way to depict the emphasis we put on social life during college. However, my point is that FOMO for some people goes beyond feeling excluded from a night of drinking. For some people, myself included, dealing with balancing a social life and an academic life can get difficult. My advice is to compromise with yourself. To solve my Halloween dilemma, I did go out with my best friend but didn’t drink so that I could get up early the next morning and study. If you’re like me and have a serious case of FOMO, be kind to yourself. Understand that while it’s a lighthearted acronym, it can be accompanied by real feelings of self-doubt. Just take a deep breath and let yourself do what you need to do to in order to maintain your balance.