This is for all of you Spring lovers out there who think that Spring is the greatest thing since pizza. Spring is the most over-hyped season in my opinion. You can all hate me for saying it, but I think Spring is awful. For those of you who have not stopped reading at this point I'm going to list just a few examples as to why I don't like Spring.
1. There is absolutely no order.
You can go from wearing shorts and a tank top one day, to wearing a parka the next. It's pretty much Mother Nature going through some crazy mood swings and we all have to deal with it. The month of March is a perfect example of this. It's currently 60 degrees and sunny out as I write this article, but wait. I look on Facebook to find out there is potential for a huge snow storm on Sunday. What? Like what kind of a sick joke is that? That's like when you're shopping with your girlfriend and think you're finally done, but then she sees another sale. It's not fair and just plain evil. Pick a dam season and stay with it, no flip flopping between Antarctica and the Sahara.
2. I can't breathe.
For those of you who don't have allergies, let me just be the first person to say I hate you. For those of you who do have allergies, you know the struggle. Everyone is outside enjoying the warmer weather, meanwhile you're inside hating everything and popping your allergy medication like it was candy. It's awful, you regret not taking advantage of all of the times that you could breathe through your nose without feeling like you're trying inhale a dam baseball. It also feels like you have poison ivy in your eyes 12 hours a day. The best thing is when people say, "Just stop itching them." *slow claps* Bravo, you've done it, you've made my eyes stop itching and all I had to do was stop itching them. Saying, "Just stop itching them" is a lot like telling someone with a stomach virus, "Just stop throwing up." Basically it doesn't work and you sound like an idiot.
3. Spring cleaning.
I absolutely hate Spring cleaning. My parents are all about it and they make me help and I hate it. First off they open all of the windows in the house so it's just warm enough to break a sweat working. Then we dust literally everything, places I didn't even know existed. Then the dust triggers your allergies and makes life hell again. Also, I'm convinced Spring cleaning never ends. It's almost like new furniture just magically appears to be cleaned. Lastly, people seem to be happy when they're doing Spring cleaning, like why? Are you mentally stable? How do you enjoy cleaning? Can you clean my house so I don't have to?
4. Nothing you wear is ever right.
No matter what you wear in Spring, it will never go with the weather. You can leave your house at 8 a.m. in a sweatshirt and shorts, but then you're sweating three hours later, so you have to carry around your sweatshirt the rest of the day. So the next day you think, "OK no sweatshirt today," and then you freeze. It's almost like Mother Nature is personally making your life more difficult. So you stay inside all day just being angry.
Even though I don't like Spring there are a few bright sides. It's finally sundress season, baseball starts back up, you can see grass instead of snow, and Summer is just around the corner.
Hope some of you can agree with me.
Yours Truly,
Ryan Jordan
