Strive to be happy- that’s what most people would say is their ultimate goal in life. If you are happy then you have succeeded. However, with this mentality comes the inevitable argument that if you are not happy then you have not succeeded, or at least you are not succeeding in that moment. I believe this mentality to be incredibly damaging, because it leads the majority of people to believe that they have not succeeded, that they are somehow not good enough. And when people box themselves in with the label of “failure” (even if it is temporary), it negatively affects their self-image, decreasing their likelihood of being happy, therefore being counterproductive. Hence, I want to propose an alternative mentality. I want to challenge you to strive to appreciate the beauty of life, both the good and the bad, instead of striving for happiness. If you are feeling down, even if you have been feeling down for months or even years, don’t think of yourself as having not succeeded. Appreciate the fact that you are a living, breathing being who experiences complex emotions such as sadness. Aren’t those emotions beautiful? The good, the bad and even the ugly, isn’t it all beautiful in it’s complexity? If you change your mentality from “I am not happy and therefore I am not succeeding” to “I am going to appreciate the beauty in my ability to feel emotion and accept this emotion as a natural but temporary stage in my life”, I believe you will have a much healthier self-image. Because that’s just it, sadness, like happiness, is temporary. As you go through different stages of your life you will inevitably experience varying periods of emotion, some years in your life will just be happier than others, that’s a fact. Therefore I have found myself to feel most successful when I live in the moment. If I appreciate my current state of being, no matter what it is, and stop using happiness as a measurement for my success, I have found myself to be happier as a byproduct. Nobody is arguing that happiness is not satisfactory. The large majority of people would argue that happiness is their most enjoyable state of being. However, I think when you make happiness the measure of your success, you run into trouble. Therefore I challenge you, at least for a day, to not use happiness as your measure for success. Strive to appreciate beauty, strive to live in the moment. I believe it will make you a much happier person in the long run.
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1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.
If the kids get a pool pass, so do you. It's not exactly a leisurely swim when you have to keep an eye on the kids, but it's a good opportunity to work on your tan and get out of the house. Plus, a day at the pool tires out the kids.
2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.
You may just be the nanny, but that doesn't stop the other moms from wanting to include you in their gossip sessions or carpool rotations.
3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.
Dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, character mac & cheese, you name it.
4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.
The only type of bag that can hold a plethora of snacks, sand toys, and extra clothes for the kids to change into after they swim.
5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.
You've been given the extra booster seat for running errands with the kids during the week. Next thing you know, it's Saturday night and your friends are laughing over the crammed backseat, car seat and all.
6. Their nap time is your happy time.
If you can somehow manage to get all the kids napping at the same time, major props to you. Now you can enjoy a few hours to yourself (or maybe even take a nap of your own!).
7. Lunch time can be a disaster.
When they can't agree on a meal or when you don't make it exactly like their mom does...
8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.
"Sure, we can play Monopoly again for the hundredth time in a row," said no sane person ever.9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.
When you ask them to clean their room and they ask "why?!" you can finally reply with "because I said so," just like your mom would say to you.
10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.
Forcing the kids to wear sunscreen while they play outside is such a motherly thing to do, and you love it.
11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.
And then you're reminded why you have the best summer job in the world and wouldn't trade it for anything.
1. "Wow, this class is really boring."
Well of course it is, or you wouldn't be daydreaming.
2. "If this wasn't a General Education Requirement, I would've dropped this class already."
Everyone in this room would have dropped the class already.
3. "That kid is sleeping, I wonder if the Professor would notice if I closed my eyes..."
Maybe just for three seconds...
4. "I'm really hungry."
What they are serving in the dining hall...I hope it's mac and cheese.
5. "Can I be excused for the rest of my life?"
OK just kidding, but seriously, can I leave now?
6. "Where are we on the notes?"
Once you are lost on the notes in a lecture class, there is no turning back. Might as well go back to daydreaming about how you are a failure.
7. "Is she/he still talking about this slide?"
Yeah, it's been 10 minutes on one slide of the presentation and yeah, she/he will continue for another three.
8. "What am I going to do this weekend?"
Well I could go to that movie night on campus, or go out to dinner with friends -- anything but doing the homework for this class.
9. "Why do I even need this class?"
Many classes have me asking this question...I need about 15 minutes to really find the answer to my great question.
10. "Is anyone even paying attention?"
Everyone looks like zombies shaking their heads to look like they are listening, and I know that kid next to me is drooling so he is definitely not paying attention. There goes my chance to catching up on the notes -- back to day dreaming.
As a Puerto Rican born in Ohio who has a very Puerto Rican family, I can tell you that there are also things that you shouldn’t say to us. Here are the most common no-no’s that have been said to Puerto Ricans.
1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”
Puerto Rico is not an independent country. It is one of a few United States territories that have their own local government but abide by U.S. law and U.S. leaders. Everyone on that island is a U.S. citizen so no, my family members are not immigrants.
2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”
Okay, Puerto Rico is a Caribbean island in, you guessed it, the Caribbean Sea along with a bunch of other islands. Each of those islands has a unique culture and history so why do you always assume all Latin nations/territories are near or associated with Mexico?
3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”
Even though Puerto Rico has its own slang, there is no such thing as a language called “Puerto Rican.” Puerto Ricans speak Spanish. Period.
4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”
This comment irritates me to no end. Puerto Ricans- and Latinos, for that matter- are extremely diverse. Our descendant range from the Spanish conquistadors to the indigenous groups who lived before colonization to the African slaves who were brought to the region. Not all of us fit the stereotypical mold of appearance.
5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”
Again, Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory not a country, therefore, you don’t need a passport to go there.
6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”
Since when was it a bad thing to show pride towards one’s heritage? Last time I checked, no one was making fun of patriotic folks who waves the stars and stripes of the U.S. flag.
7. “Why are you so loud?”
We are just loud people. If you don’t like it, don’t talk to us.
8. “So does your family know English?”
Puerto Ricans are taught Spanish and English. Both are the official languages. Technically, Spanish is the first language of many Puerto Ricans on the island, but they understand and speak English. In fact, there are schools on the island that teach in English.
9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”
This is an annoying stereotype that also plagues much of the Latino community. We can be sassy, but that’s just an individual personality trait that doesn’t apply to everyone.
10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”
Let’s see… did I grow up eating food from Mexico? No, because my family is Puerto Rican, not Mexican. Puerto Rico has its own cuisines. I grew up eating Puerto Rican food. Stop merging cultures.
11. “Are you Mexican?”
No. Stop. Not every Latino is Mexican. Mexicans are Mexicans, Puerto Ricans are Puerto Rican, and so on. Do not be that person.
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