The turkey is the star of Thanksgiving. That's just a fact. It's the first food that comes to mind when someone says Thanksgiving. It is the physical representation of the entire Thanksgiving idea, and it probably always will be. Turkey is just so ingrained in the idea of Thanksgiving, from the origin story to the Macy's parade.

But I, and many of my friends and family, have questioned the status of the Turkey, specifically its culinary status. Sure, its an irreplaceable symbol, but does the turkey as a food really live up to all the hype. After years of dry bird after dry bird, we knew the truth. So we set out in search of a new food to be the centerpiece of our Thanksgiving meal. And we found it in the form of the thanksgiving ham.

LOOK AT IT. Isn't it beautiful? And guess what: it's much easier than a turkey to get right. I've had plenty of bad turkeys, but I've never had a bad ham. I'm gonna chalk this up to one simple fact: pig meat is simply a straight upgrade to any other kind of meat. It just is. Lets take a moment and think about bacon. Not considering your health, would you rather have turkey bacon or pig bacon? The sensible people said pig bacon. And the same applies to the turkey and the ham. The pig is simply better.

Actually come to think of it, the turkey is simply the downgraded, albeit healthier version, of every other meat. Want a burger without the red meat? Have a turkey burger. Are you a weirdo who likes tasteless sandwiches? Forget the ham cold cuts and get some turkey to make yourself a sad little sandwich. Even chicken has more personality than turkey, and its taste is so generic that it tastes like everything.

I can admit that there are three downsides that might hit some of you pretty hard, the first one being that you can't really stuff a ham. It just doesn't work. But then you can just have stuffing on the side, if you really want it so bad. Personally I've never like stuffing anyways. Looks a little too much like vomit if you ask me. Just my opinion.

The second is that gravy doesn't really work with ham either. But that's because gravy is a way to make up for the complete lack of flavor that seems to be characteristic of the Thanksgiving turkey. So its really not that big of a deal, especially when gravy goes just as well (or maybe better) with mashed potatoes.

The third downside is the inability of a ham to have a wishbone. The tradition of breaking the wishbone is quite fun, and doing it with anything other than an hones-to-goodness turkey wishbone just isn't the same. But I believe the change in quality is worth the sacrifice.

In conclusion, it may be too late for some of you. You may already have a turkey sitting in your freezer, waiting to be cooked into something profoundly mediocre. But when you take your first bite, I want you to think long and hard, and think to yourself "Do I really want to make the same choice next year?". Just food for thought.

Or you could just cook both, if you're not too lazy. That's probably the best course of action to be honest. But seriously, try ham.