Proverbs 27:17 states, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Over the last several years, I've begun to realize the magnitude of that scripture. I've been lucky enough to stay friends with the same group of vibrant, God-fearing, encouraging girls for over 10 years. It's only recently that it occurred to me how rare that is in today's culture, which encourages the idea of independence. It has become popular to not "need" friends at all, as if people are better off without developing trusting friendships. I simply don't believe that that is true. Humans are, by nature, social creatures. Even antisocial people (I'm not one, but I know plenty) want and do establish deep, meaningful friendships.
When I was much younger, an older friend made a point of telling me that when I finished with high school, I would likely have far different friends than the girls I was close with at the time. She was wrong. Although we've grown and changed plenty over the years (frequent arguments over the politics of the elementary school playground have given way to less frequent arguments over who's wearing that dress), our friendships have grown and evolved even more. We learned the intricacies of one another, finding solace in the phrase, "me too." We grew close with one another's families, and our phones automatically connected to each other's wi-fi networks when we walked in unannounced to each other's houses. These were the girls with which I planned matching theme day outfits and stayed up until midnight on July 31st to fill out college applications in the weeks before our senior year. Ten years of my life were punctuated with annual sleepovers, understood commitments to celebrate birthdays, and (when we all got our licenses) spontaneous lunch dates. Although we invested in different areas and made great friends in many places -- I spent my afternoons at rehearsals, my friends at tennis practice or FFA meetings -- they were still the first people I called after my first date and when I fell in love with my future college.
What we learned from these relationships was simple: you don't give up on people. When you stick with people, your relationships are seeded so much deeper. You understand your people because you've been a witness to their growth. Of course there were times when we all wanted to kill one another. Of course there were arguments over who would use which Bible verse on the back of their letter jacket. Of course there were times when someone wasn't invited to go to the movies or shopping or whatever. We didn't give up on one another and "cut each other off." We clung tight to our values, and as we did, we sharpened one another. We became better people because we worked hard at being patient, turning to scripture, and seeking advice when we didn't know how to handle a conflict. I was blessed. These girls shared the same values as me, and that meant sometimes, we just had to get over ourselves and extend grace.
Other friends have passed in and out of my life during high school, but I can't think of a less cliche way to put it: you really do find out who your friends are. If you're lucky enough to find out that the best friends are the girls you played dress up and learned times tables with (thank the Lord, for goodness sake), then make time to invest in those relationships. My best friends and I graduate high school this week, and come August, we will more or less be scattered to the winds. While I hate that I won't be able to just pick up and go to Chick-Fil-A with them, I know that our friendships will stay strong.
